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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #prediction #features #comparisons
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The given diagram represents the amount of population in four different Asian countries who living in cities in the period of time from 1970 until 2020, with a prediction for the next twenty
years
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. In general, what stands out from the graph is that all trends have dramatically increased,
however
Linking Words
, in some
years
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, the
Philippines
Use synonyms
 has fluctuated. The population of the
Philippines
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 started from over 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 which was at the top of the list in 1970.
Next,
Linking Words
it increased gradually over the next 50
years
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,
however
Linking Words
, it fluctuated from 1980 to 2010
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
 year the percentage of the
Philippines
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 and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 are the same,
then
Linking Words
 it will go upward
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 around
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
53 per
cent
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 which will not quite as busy as
Indonesia
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 .
Next,
Linking Words
Indonesia
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 started from the bottom of the list in 1970 at just over a tenth,
then
Linking Words
 went up significantly from 1970 until 2020, and in 2000 it reached Malaysia at around 27 per
cent
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 and passed the
Philippines
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 in 2010. From 2020 to 2040 the number of people in
Indonesia
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 will increase dramatically and in 2040 is set to be over half which will not be anywhere near as overpopulated as Malaysia.
In addition
Linking Words
, the amount of people who lived in Thailand in 1970 was under one-fifth
then
Linking Words
 went up gradually to 2020, and
then
Linking Words
 it is set to be over 45 per
cent
Use synonyms
 which will be the fourth place in 2040. As regards Malaysia which in the early 70th decade was not quite as overpopulated as the
Philippines
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, but over the next
years
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 it shot up and at the start of 2020 was about 75 per
cent
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,
then
Linking Words
 it is predicted that it will be over 80 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2040.
Submitted by hoseinyasemi.ir on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, next, ".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, philippines, cent, indonesia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "set" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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