Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the modern era, Technology has become a role of vitally important for people because it can support daily activities
such
as working and studying. In the following paragraphs, from my point of view, personally, I entirely believe that it is a positive development because of some reasons.
One of the major reasons is that,
the employer provides the field job like sector freelance for the employee. Remove the comma
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This
is because some individuals find that they are more productive when working from home
. With fewer distractions and interruptions, they can often focus better and accomplish more in less time. For instance
, in the capital city of Indonesia, Jakarta, a number of freelancers, such
as writers, designers, or programmers, thrive in a home
environment. They appreciate the flexibility to create their own schedules and the absence of office distractions, allowing them to focus on their work and deliver high-quality results efficiently.
Another reason is that it allows the children easier
to access a variety of resources. The internet provides a vast array of educational resources, from interactive learning platforms to virtual libraries. Children can explore diverse subjects, access multimedia content, and engage with interactive tools that cater to different learning styles. Correct word choice
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This
access to resources can enrich their learning experience and broaden their knowledge.
To sum up
, it seems to me that the affordability and increased accessibility of technology may increase number
of adults globally working from Change the article
the number
home
and also
youngsters are starting to learn from home
. Regarding this
, from my standpoint of view, it is a positive development as it can be impactful for work performance without any interruption and might build a pleasant atmosphere and develop of youngster's mindset in obtaining something unfamiliar on internet
.Correct article usage
the internet
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task achievement
You provided a clear opinion and addressed the question directly, which is good. However, your response needs more development and depth. Try to include more detailed explanations and examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Some of your points and examples are clear, but you need to structure your essay more logically. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that you stick to, and use linking words to show how one point leads to another.
coherence cohesion
You had a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a coherent essay.
task achievement
You managed to include some relevant examples, which helped support your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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