Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. You should write at least 250 words.
#childhood #diseases #vaccines #parents #law #immunise #children #individuals #right #support #arguments #evidence
As the world is developing in science , so
does
diseases, it is very Correct subject-verb agreement
do
neccesary
for every individual to prevent Correct your spelling
necessary
it
before Correct pronoun usage
them
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
effects
anyone. I will share some of my ideas and Verb problem
affect
experience
to support my argument.
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
Firstly
, vaccine
is the most important invention that can eliminate any disease before even Add an article
the vaccine
a vaccine
Correct your spelling
affecting
effecting
anyone, and it does not have side effects. Correct your spelling
affecting
For instance
, it was a horrible experience with covid outbreak, fortunately
we Add a comma
fortunately,
did overcome
it by using only vaccines, as there Wrong verb form
overcame
were
no Change the verb form
was
medicine
which could help Fix the agreement mistake
medicines
this
disaster. In short, for mostly
diseases Correct your spelling
most
especialy
which Correct your spelling
especially
effects
Verb problem
affect
minors
we should prevent Add a comma
minors,
it
as Correct pronoun usage
them
it
can impact their physical or mental growth.
Correct pronoun usage
they
Secondly
, many parents
avoid vaccines by saying their child
does not have any problem then
why Rephrase
so
they
give their Add a missing verb
do they
child
a vaccine.
They need to understand a Change the punctuation
?
child
does
not know what is happening Correct subject-verb agreement
do
with
them or in their first 1 to 2 year of Change preposition
to
period
they can not even talk, even the doctors get Add an article
the period
confuse
sometimes understanding Change the verb form
confused
a
Change the article
an
infants
problem. Change noun form
infant's
Therefore
, it is parents
duty to avoid major diseases which can Change noun form
parents'
parent's
b
avoided easily. And there are laws as well that Correct your spelling
be
tells
us Correct subject-verb agreement
tell
to
that Change preposition
apply
childrens
need to be vaccinated. And, every Correct your spelling
children
children's
parents
should follow these rules and give their Change to a singular noun
parent
child
vaccines on time.
In summary, a vaccine plays a very important role in a baby's life, we should not ignore it. parents
need to understand their responsibilty
for their baby's vaccination. In rural areas laws are not followed properly because of lack of knowledge, the government should Correct your spelling
responsibility
also
focus on these areas as well.Submitted by MK on
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task achievement
Expand on each point more thoroughly to create a more comprehensive and detailed response.
task achievement
Include more specific and varied examples to support the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentences' grammatical structures and punctuation for improved clarity.
coherence cohesion
Create smoother transitions between points to maintain a stronger flow of ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the benefits and necessity of vaccinations with relevant points.
coherence cohesion
The structure includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.
task achievement
The essay addresses common objections to vaccinations and provides counterarguments, which strengthens the position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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