IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the first car appeared on Britsh roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of trasport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that automobile ownership went up dramatically over the
last
Linking Words
 three decades. It automatically leads to
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
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 in cities in many countries of the world. We cannot limit the number of
car
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 possessions to deal with
this
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 issue.
Therefore
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, the
government
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 should think about some solutions to persuade
people
Use synonyms
 to refrain from using their own transport in order to reduce the
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
. The demand for
car
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 purchase has increased remarkably and it makes
car
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 companies produce and release a high number of
cars
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 production as well. Simultaneously, the
government
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 does not provide equitable infrastructures,
such
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 as street space and alternative motorways.
Consequently
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, it is normal that
traffic
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congestion
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 happens because the number of
cars
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 is not proportional to the facility provided. Another reason is that the price of
cars
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 is affordable and
people
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 can get a
car
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 easily. In my opinion, there are several actions that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can take to settle
this
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 complicated problem.
Firstly
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, whilst the vehicle companies produce their
cars
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, the
government
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 should build and develop the road infrastructure in order to give enough space for many vehicles to minimise the
congestion
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 of
traffic
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.
Secondly
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, the
government
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 can collaborate with
car
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 companies in producing small smart
cars
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. The advancement of technology today is sufficient to create innovation in
car
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 production.
Last
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 but not least
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
government
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 should provide many alternative
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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 for the public
such
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 as trans-city buses, sky trains, and underground trains which offer better, safer, faster and more affordable transportation facilities.
As a result
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,
people
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 will tend to choose public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 than using their own
cars
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.
Therefore
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, the
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 will substantially
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
.
To conclude
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,
car
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 possession could not be circumscribed by restricting
people
Use synonyms
 from buying it, as evident in the
last
Linking Words
 three decades. Rather more effective ways to tackle the heinous
traffic
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congestion
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 are there that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 might select to tackle that issue.

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task achievement
In your writing, it might be helpful to include more specific examples or case studies to support your points. For instance, you could research and mention specific cities or countries where certain transportation policies have been successful.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to word choice and ensure clarity. Some sentences can feel a bit awkward or unclear. For example, 'it makes car companies produce and release a high number of cars production as well' could be refined for better readability.
introduction
Your introduction provides a good overview of the issue and lays the groundwork for your argument.
task achievement
You offer several potential solutions to the problem of traffic congestion, demonstrating a problem-solving approach.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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