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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

in some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them. what are advantages and disadvantages of renting a home?

#countries #people #rent #homes #home
Some
people
 around the world prefer to rent their homes rather than having
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
ownership of them. Renting a
stay to live
Add a hyphen
stay-to-live
show examples
 could bring benefits and problems. I believe that
flexibility
 is the main benefit of renting,
whereas
 the accumulation price is the main problem of renting. First of all,
people
 usually have an urgency to have a place to stay. That urgency sometimes leads
people
 to rent an apartment or a
house
.
House
 rentals are
also
 available in a plethora of selections, usually having their own add-ons of facility.
This
 makes
people
 interested in renting a
house
 as most rentals usually advertise their
property
 as having good deals.
This
flexibility
 of price ranges makes rental houses affordable for all families with various economic conditions.
On the other hand
, renting, if
people
 do it
on
Change preposition
for
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 a long term, can be a problem. The accumulation of renting for three or four years equals the amount of buying a
house
. Renting prices
also
 tend to rise
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
show examples
, so the accumulation can be decreased.
Also
, renting doesn’t bring ownership of a
property
 to its buyer, its sole purpose is only
served
Change the verb form
to serve
show examples
 as a place to live. If
people
 have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ownership of a
property
,
people
 have the
flexibility
 to decorate or renovate the
property
.
Not to mention
 to rent the
house
 itself to bring more profit. To summarise
this
 essay, there are some advantages and disadvantages of renting a
property
 to live in. The benefits are
flexibility
,
whereas
 the problems are more for long-term staying.
Submitted by arsyiiimuhammad061 on

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task achievement
The essay could be further improved by expanding on specific examples to support your points. Try to include relevant, specific examples to make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, transitioning between paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using linking phrases to make the flow of ideas more seamless.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be more elaborate to fully summarize the main points discussed. Consider briefly restating the main benefits and drawbacks discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction that sets the stage for the discussion.
task achievement
The main ideas are relevant to the topic and are clearly presented.
task achievement
The essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home, providing a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial commitment
  • down payment
  • initial costs
  • allocate resources
  • maintenance costs
  • mobility
  • relocate
  • market fluctuations
  • property value
  • building equity
  • appreciate in value
  • asset
  • personalization
  • restrictions
  • rental increases
  • lease renewal
  • financial instability
  • housing budgets
  • long-term security
  • landlord
  • lease agreement
  • equity
  • substantial
  • property ownership
  • property market
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