Schools have a limited amount of money to spend.some people suggest that it should be spend on good teachers,while others say it should be spent for buying equipment like computers. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Good
education is what makes us qualified for the job that we are interested in, so getting to Correct article usage
A good
prestigious
school is one of the most important things for the youth. Some people think that Correct article usage
a prestigious
teachers
are more important to direct students, but others believe having good equipments
has more effects on the young people. From my point of view both of them Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
is
crucial, so there must be a balance between them.
First of all, in the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
life
of all of us
there are people that we cannot forget about them until the end of our Add a comma
us,
life
because of the
their impact on us. Remove the article
apply
Undoubtfully
, one of them is our teacher. Good Correct your spelling
Undoubtedly
teachers
can make a big difference in the life
of adolescents by giving them Fix the agreement mistake
lives
life
advices
, teaching them manners and of course, expanding their knowledge. Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
For instance
, in my country
we call our school Add a comma
country,
teachers
a second mother, by reason of showing
their importance Wrong verb form
show
on
Change preposition
to
one's
student's Change noun form
one
life
.
Furthermore
having good equipments
is Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
also
very important, it gives the children motivation
that they need. We are living in a technology world, Correct article usage
the motivation
due to
that fact gen
Z is more interested and more capable Capitalize word
Gen
in
using computers, phones Change preposition
of
and
etc. Correct word choice
apply
For example
, when kids are learning about space, planets and stars if you just talk about them, it will be boring for them, but if you use projector
Correct article usage
a projector
while
showing them space itself, it will make the class more thrilling and unforgetable
for them.
In conclusion, I think that rather than concentrating on Correct your spelling
unforgettable
teachers
or equipments
, there is Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
need
to be Correct article usage
a need
more
balanced system, because neither learning good information Add an article
a more
the more
or
having better technology skills is less important than Correct word choice
nor
each
other. Correct determiner usage
the
To sum up
, having decent
instructor and technology apparatus are both equally important.Correct article usage
a decent
Submitted by eminesixaliyeva on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While your introduction provides a clear understanding of the topic and your viewpoint, you may want to refine your thesis statement to clearly outline the points you will be discussing in the body paragraphs. A more defined thesis helps to clearly signal to the reader what to expect in your essay.
task achievement
Try to further develop your body paragraphs with more concrete and specific examples. This will help to provide stronger support for your arguments. For instance, you can use statistics, studies, or more detailed anecdotes.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows logically from one to the next. You can work on your transitions to make the progression of your arguments smoother. For example, the transition between the first and second body paragraphs could be more seamless.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work to correct small grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as "neither learning good information or having better technology skills is less important." Consider rephrasing this to "neither acquiring good information nor developing better technology skills is less important."
task achievement
You provided a balanced viewpoint and acknowledged the importance of both good teachers and equipment, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your balanced stance, which ties your essay together well.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided, such as calling teachers a "second mother" and the use of projectors in classrooms, help to illustrate your points well. They make your arguments more relatable and understandable.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized with clear paragraphs and a logical progression from introduction to conclusion. This helps in maintaining the reader's interest and making your arguments easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!