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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A lot of places in the word rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern word. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

#places #word #tourism #source #income
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Evidence suggests that visitors are vital financially for many nations around the world but
this
 practice leads to several problems as well. I believe,
although
 there are a number of advantages involved in
this
 trend, the downsides are by no means negligible. On the plus side, there are some advantages to being a popular destination for tourists.
To begin
 with, local economy and job opportunities grow
due to
 people flocking to these spots.
For example
, tourists pay money for food, accommodation, transportation and other facilities which must be provided by locals so new jobs are introduced which are lucrative.
In addition
, people become more knowledgeable. Simply put, foreigners come from all over the world with different cultures and attitudes
are
Correct word choice
and are
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
direct interaction with indigenous
therefore
; they learn about each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 and
this
 phenomenon leads to gaining more knowledge for both sides.
However
, the downside cannot be ignored. The most axiomatic argument is concerned with environmental issues.
That is
 to say, many visitors damage animals' habitats through their activities. Take littering as an example; in recent years it is obvious that forests and see and rivers
as well as
 beaches are full of garbage which puts other creatures' lives in jeopardy.
Furthermore
, many of them
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 problems for local residents by parking in their
spot
Fix the agreement mistake
spots
show examples
 and disturbing them with their noise.
To conclude
, tourism can be both rewarding and problematic. In my opinion,
this
 approach creates irreparable problems for wildlife and dwellers' lives and must be managed.
Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on

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task achievement
You have addressed the task adequately, considering both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism. However, developing your points further with more detailed examples and explanations could enhance your response. For instance, discussing economic impacts in more concrete terms or providing specific data could make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally coherent and logically structured, with clear paragraphs and a good flow of ideas. Still, you can improve by ensuring seamless transitions between ideas. Connecting your examples directly to the main points more explicitly would create a stronger narrative flow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion. The use of topic sentences helps to clarify the main idea of each paragraph.
task achievement
You have covered both aspects of the question, advantages and disadvantages of tourism, providing a balanced view.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • source of income
  • vulnerable
  • cultural exchange
  • commercialization
  • preservation
  • conservation
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable tourism
  • eco-friendly
  • global fluctuations
  • cultural landscape
  • habitat destruction
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