IELTS essay, topic: Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#ielts #topic #museums #charge #admission #outweigh

The two pie charts

compares

Change the verb form

compare

show examples

the sources of

energy

production in France in 1995 and 2005.

Overall

, equal quantities of both years produced gas and coal, but a dramatically larger number of Petro was in 1995. There were

also

many differences in values

nuclear

Change preposition

of nuclear

show examples

and other kinds of

energy

production. Turning to the first chart, we can observe that coal was produced mainly (29.80% participation rate) than other sources. Gas comes as the second most popular type of

energy

production,

practiced

Change the spelling

practised

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by almost a third of all elements. Gas is followed by

petro

Correct your spelling

petrol

, which is exercised by 29.27%. Nuclear is

less

Correct article usage

a less

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preferable

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

than

first

Correct article usage

the first

show examples

three before, chosen by 6.40%. Other, the least popular type of producing

energy

among all, represents only 4.90%.

Submitted by dulskywork on Sun May 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, consider structuring the essay with clear paragraphs including an introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph should discuss a specific point.

coherence cohesion

Make sure every piece of information supports the main points of comparison and contrasts the two pie charts effectively.

task achievement

Ensure you analyze all components of the charts comprehensively, not just a few selected elements. This will make your response more complete.

task achievement

Improve the clarity of your ideas by avoiding redundancy and organizing the data in a straightforward manner. Presenting percentages in the same sentence for all years can improve clarity.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task of comparing the energy production sources in France for the two years specified.

task achievement

The essay includes the key data points from the pie charts, such as the percentages for coal, gas, and petro.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

123 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Admission fees
Revenue generation
Facilities
Exhibits
Maintenance and preservation
Artifacts
Exclusive exhibitions
Temporary exhibitions
Overcrowding
Equitable access
Discounted rates
Educational experience

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IELTS essay, topic: Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that all entertainment television programs should educate people about the importance of social issues. Do you agree or disagree?

You sent some documents by post recently, but they did not arrive. Write a letter to the post manager. In your letter -Give details of the situation -Describe the documents -Say what action you want tobe taken.