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The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance.

The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance.
#bar #results #survey #personnel #department #company #two #groups #workers #factors #work #performance
The provided chart bar depicts the factors that impact
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employee performance at work. The survey is categorized by the
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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 who are 18-30 and 45-60 years of age. Generally speaking, the
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors
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 that
related
Add a missing verb
are related
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 to benefits and opportunities (chance for personal development, relaxed working environment, job security, promotion prospects, job satisfaction, and money) from
company
Add an article
the company
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 are the highest factors that boost young
people
 to perform.
On the other hand
, the
people
 at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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 factor is the main reason for the older ones to bring their best effort
for
Change preposition
to
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company
Add an article
the company
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. The opportunity to develop,
Correct article usage
a relax
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relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
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 workplace, high money, and the chance to
promote
Wrong verb form
be promoted
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 are the top reasons (above 60
employee
Change to a plural noun
employees
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) for
people
 below 30 years old to show their best
while
 the other factors. Contrary, workers that already
spended
Correct your spelling
spent
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 their life more, enjoyed their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 more related to
people
Correct article usage
the people
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 around them like how high the spirit of their group
, the
Add a missing verb
was, the
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 competency of their leader, and how others
respect
Wrong verb form
respected
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 them.
Submitted by vito.naufal on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • survey
  • personnel department
  • major company
  • age group
  • work performance
  • factors
  • comparison
  • analysis
  • common
  • significant
  • differences
  • important
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