In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are thge cause of this? What solutions can you suggest?

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Evidence suggests that many educational centres in some nations are struggling with not well-behaved children.
Although
there are some specific root causes behind
this
problem, effective
solution
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solutions
show examples
can be adopted to remedy the situation. There are two main reasons why some students tend to show nasty behaviour at school.
Firstly
, they are usually suffering from
family's
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family
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problems.
That is
, most of their parents are
dealling
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dealing
with things that
effect
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affect
show examples
their children's
attitude
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attitudes
show examples
.
For example
, a student who has an addicted father or mother is highly likely to show disturbing actions in the educational institution.
Secondly
, children act differently among their peers and want to prove themselves so they may do almost anything to be accepted by their peer's group and these groups may encourage them to do unethical things,
such
as bullying. There are,
however
, some steps
can
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that can
show examples
be taken to tackle
this
problem. One step would be improving their mental states by setting psychological
session
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sessions
show examples
for them. Since many
youngesters'
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youngsters'
behaviour is from their personal problem
psychologize
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psychologizing
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them would make them better.
For instance
, in most
schools
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schools,
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there is
an
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a
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psychologist who offers students help to solve their issues. Another viable alternative is to ask their parents to supervise them in their relations with their friends and make sure that they have
choosen
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chosen
firends
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friends
with good
personalties
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personalities
show examples
in order to make a positive impression on them.
To conclude
, students may
do
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apply
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not act well at school because of many reasons
such
as personal problems. In spite of all contributing factors, helping
them
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apply
show examples
by
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apply
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psychologists and their own parents can reduce the severity of
this
issue considerably.
Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on

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task response
While the essay addresses the two main causes and provides solutions, it would benefit from more detailed development of ideas. Additionally, ensuring each point directly supports the argument would enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is mostly clear, but a few transitions between ideas can be smoother. Introducing clear topic sentences for each paragraph will help readers follow the argument better.
coherence and cohesion
Proofreading for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing would significantly improve the overall flow and readability of the essay. Some complex sentences should be broken down into simpler ones for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the problem and suggests that solutions will be discussed, providing a clear roadmap for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion neatly summarizes the main points and reiterates the solutions discussed, providing a well-rounded end to the essay.
task response
The essay offers relevant examples and clear solutions, which shows an understanding of the problem and practical ways to address it.

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