In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are thge cause of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Evidence suggests that many educational centres in some nations are struggling with not well-behaved children.
Although
there are some specific root causes behind this
problem, effective solution
can be adopted to remedy the situation.
There are two main reasons why some students tend to show nasty behaviour at school. Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
Firstly
, they are usually suffering from family's
problems. Change noun form
family
That is
, most of their parents are dealling
with things thatCorrect your spelling
dealing
effect
their children's Correct your spelling
affect
attitude
. Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
For example
, a student who has an addicted father or mother is highly likely to show disturbing actions in the educational institution. Secondly
, children act differently among their peers and want to prove themselves so they may do almost anything to be accepted by their peer's group and these groups may encourage them to do unethical things, such
as bullying.
There are, however
, some steps can
be taken to tackle Correct pronoun usage
that can
this
problem. One step would be improving their mental states by setting psychological session
for them. Since many Fix the agreement mistake
sessions
youngesters'
behaviour is from their personal problem Correct your spelling
youngsters'
psychologize
them would make them better. Wrong verb form
psychologizing
For instance
, in most schools
there is Add a comma
schools,
an
psychologist who offers students help to solve their issues. Another viable alternative is to ask their parents to supervise them in their relations with their friends and make sure that they have Change the article
a
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
firends
with good Correct your spelling
friends
personalties
in order to make a positive impression on them.
Correct your spelling
personalities
To conclude
, students may do
not act well at school because of many reasons Unnecessary verb
apply
such
as personal problems. In spite of all contributing factors, helping them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
by
psychologists and their own parents can reduce the severity of Change preposition
apply
this
issue considerably.Submitted by m.tavasoli18 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
While the essay addresses the two main causes and provides solutions, it would benefit from more detailed development of ideas. Additionally, ensuring each point directly supports the argument would enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is mostly clear, but a few transitions between ideas can be smoother. Introducing clear topic sentences for each paragraph will help readers follow the argument better.
coherence and cohesion
Proofreading for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing would significantly improve the overall flow and readability of the essay. Some complex sentences should be broken down into simpler ones for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the problem and suggests that solutions will be discussed, providing a clear roadmap for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion neatly summarizes the main points and reiterates the solutions discussed, providing a well-rounded end to the essay.
task response
The essay offers relevant examples and clear solutions, which shows an understanding of the problem and practical ways to address it.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?