IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

some people suggested that cars should be banned in the centrals of the large cities. Do you agree or disagree？

#people #cars #centrals #cities #disagree？
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Literature plays an important role in people’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. I have decided to do a project on what Russian writers are popular with Zetland Humanities students and found a table with the results of an opinion poll on
this
 topic. Below I will give my comments on the results of the poll. Looking at the main features of the table, I must say that the most popular Russian writers are Leo Tolstoy and Fedor Dostoevsky (30% and 29%
correspondingly
Replace the word
respectively
show examples
). Another striking feature is that Alexander Pushkin is
less
Add an article
a less
show examples
 popular writer among respondents (8%). Turning to the details, it can be seen there Mikhail Bulgakov
9
Add a missing verb
is 9
show examples
percent more popular
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 Ivan Turgenev (21% and 12% respectively). It is not surprising
as
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 Bulgakov had more
exiting
Correct your spelling
exciting
show examples
story lines
Correct your spelling
storylines
show examples
 and unexpected moments. One of the
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 that can arise with reading
classics
Change the noun form
classic
show examples
 translation is that the translation cannot express the feelings and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opinions of the writer in the correct way. To solve
this
 problem, one can learn the language of her or his favourite writer and read the books in original.
Overall
, I strongly believe that classical literature is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 part of our life.
While
 reading
this
 kind of literature we can increase the level of education and broaden our horizons.
Submitted by viktoria.popova92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized and logical, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, it could benefit from smoother transitions between sections to further enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings interrupt the flow slightly. Pay extra attention to these details to improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific support for why Tolstoy and Dostoevsky are so popular. This will not only strengthen your argument but also add depth to your response.
task achievement
You have included valid points about the popularity of Russian writers among Humanities students. Ensuring that all examples and points are well-elaborated and specific will enhance clarity and comprehension.
task achievement
Consider adding more relevant specific examples or statistics to support your main points. This will make your argument more compelling and grounded in evidence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, which makes it easy to follow and understand your points.
task achievement
You've successfully highlighted key findings from the poll and provided a thoughtful analysis of the data presented.
task achievement
You've effectively discussed a potential problem with reading classic literature translations and offered a constructive solution to the problem.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: