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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

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In these days and ages, there are significant demands for specialists
such
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 as surgeons or engineers all over the globe. Some claim that these
experts
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 have to
work
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 in their motherland. Others,
however
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, contend that they have the liberty to choose where to
work
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. Personally, I side with the latter insight. All professionals should be free to decide where to apply for a
job
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 after their tertiary education. To start with, it is feasible that some first-world societies give scholarships to these
experts
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.
That is
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 to say, these developed countries not only
do
Verb problem
apply
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offer a good income and opportunity but
also
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 pave the way for promotion in their career path. Take Italia as an illustration.
this
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country
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 persuades graduated architects from all over the world annually to continue their higher education and supply many
job
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 opportunities for them. What’s more, these
experts
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 can gain more knowledge in another
country
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. To clarify, they get to know new methods and science which are more related to that
country
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.
For instance
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, if a European doctor takes a
job
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 position in Africa, he will expand his knowledge about endemic diseases in that specific region
such
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 as malaria owing to not encountering
this
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 disease in Europe before.
On the other hand
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, others argue that professionals have to stay and
work
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 in their motherland. First of all, they believe that their government is paying the budget of the
country
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 for these people to get sophisticated in that major.
Therefore
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, these
experts
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 have to
work
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 in their
country
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 in order to compensate for the requirements of that nation.
In addition
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, if
experts
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 leave that society, there will be scarce of professionals and doctors when it comes to emergencies. By way of example, there are a few numbers of surgeons in the
south
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southern
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 part of Iran,
hence
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 patients are being referred to Tehran
due to
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 its abundant medical facilities and
experts
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. In summary, I am of the opinion that all specialists have the freedom and liberty to choose where to
work
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 after their graduation
due to
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 obtaining a handsome income and better
job
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 opportunities.

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task achievement
Provide more balanced and further support for both views to strengthen the analysis. While examples were given for the freedom to choose where to work, more concrete examples could be given for the argument that professionals must stay in their motherland.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each point is fully developed and clearly linked to the overall argument. Some points felt a little under-explored or lacking in direct connection to the thesis.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant examples were provided for the argument supporting the freedom to choose where to work.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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