The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#line #show #information #crime #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons

The pointed line graph shows the fluctuation of

crime

Correct article usage

the crime

show examples

rate based on the relationship between age and

crime

. As we can see, children from 0 to 8 years old

nobodys

Correct your spelling

nobody

had committed a

crime

, but others from the age 8 to 12

did

Verb problem

committed

show examples

almost 5 thousand

crimes

. The line from 12 and 20 years old rosed up and to achieve peaks of 70 and 80 thousand

crimes

. Around the age of 24 young people became more quiet. The pie chart describes the different types of

crime

. The most

crimes

committed were violent

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

which have the biggest slice of

pie

Correct article usage

the pie

show examples

with 46%. Property

crimes

and drug

crimes

Add a missing verb

are 23

show examples

% and 22% respectively. The

last

one, which is the public order

crimes

is a slice that

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

the smallest size because in 9%, so

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

almost half of the

Overall

, many young guys of 20 years old more or less

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

committed violent

crimes

last

year.

Submitted by bucciarellianna3 on Sun May 26 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, crimes with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

154 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

The line graph depicts
The pie chart illustrates
reveals
displays
depicts
the trend of
the overall crime rate
steadily decreased
the distribution of
different types of crime
prevalent
accounts for
the most common crime
followed by
make up
a smaller proportion of
the total crimes
a smaller percentage
approximately
the remaining percentage
It is important to note that
reflects

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