For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Earning money by working studiously is an upward trend with plenty of people.

This

Linking Words

writer completely encourages

this

Linking Words

statement and will illustrate the viewpoint in the following essays. First and foremost, it is vital to understand that currency plays a pivotal role in the lives of people.

Therefore

Linking Words

, employees religiously work hard for promotion in order to earn more monthly salary so that they can totally purchase most of the items which satisfy themselves.

For instance

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, income from working industriously can fulfil the requirements of commercial materials

such

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as jewellery, clothing, packages and sneakers.

Moreover

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, currency

also

Linking Words

empowers drivers by helping stabilise motivation or getting in line on the way leading to success.

Besides

Linking Words

that, employees who are studious at work

also

Linking Words

usually gain admiration from other people making them more special or even they will use the money to prepare for unforeseen accidents.

For example

Linking Words

, once staff parents get a serious illness, they will immediately spend money that they gathered through years for diagnoses and solutions,

as well as

Linking Words

treatments. In conclusion, working hard

due to

Linking Words

high income seems suitable with a person who needs continuous motivation.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it

also

Linking Words

supports to fulfilment of sufficiently physical and spiritual pieces of stuff.

Submitted by [email protected] on Sun May 26 2024

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task achievement

While the essay provides a clear stance, it could be balanced further by acknowledging counterarguments or addressing potential drawbacks of prioritizing money over other aspects like job satisfaction or work-life balance.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and use linking words to show the connection between sentences and paragraphs more effectively.

task achievement

Expand on the explanations and provide more specific examples to make the argument more convincing and comprehensive.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logically structured introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

You effectively use specific examples to illustrate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

202 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial stability
necessities
monetary rewards
quality of life
luxury items
dependents
responsibility
pursue
personal interests
cultural pressures
wealth accumulation
fulfillment
visible measure
correlate
secure future
comfortable lifestyle
entertainment

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For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think being a celebrity brings more benefit or more problems?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree? what other measures do you think might be effective?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

People living in large cites today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?