For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Earning money by working studiously is an upward trend with plenty of people.
This
writer completely encourages this
statement and will illustrate the viewpoint in the following essays.
First and foremost, it is vital to understand that currency plays a pivotal role in the lives of people. Therefore
, employees religiously work hard for promotion in order to earn more monthly salary so that they can totally purchase most of the items which satisfy themselves. For instance
, income from working industriously can fulfil the requirements of commercial materials such
as jewellery, clothing, packages and sneakers.
Moreover
, currency also
empowers drivers by helping stabilise motivation or getting in line on the way leading to success. Besides
that, employees who are studious at work also
usually gain admiration from other people making them more special or even they will use the money to prepare for unforeseen accidents. For example
, once staff parents get a serious illness, they will immediately spend money that they gathered through years for diagnoses and solutions, as well as
treatments.
In conclusion, working hard due to
high income seems suitable with a person who needs continuous motivation. Furthermore
, it also
supports to fulfilment of sufficiently physical and spiritual pieces of stuff.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
While the essay provides a clear stance, it could be balanced further by acknowledging counterarguments or addressing potential drawbacks of prioritizing money over other aspects like job satisfaction or work-life balance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and use linking words to show the connection between sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
Expand on the explanations and provide more specific examples to make the argument more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logically structured introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You effectively use specific examples to illustrate your points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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