The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is a belief stating that in the
future
, there is a possibility that the average standard of Use synonyms
people
's Use synonyms
health
will decrease compared to how it is now. I personally disagree with Use synonyms
this
statement and think that Linking Words
in
Change preposition
on
contrary
, Correct article usage
the contrary
people
's Use synonyms
health
will generally see an increase in the Use synonyms
future
.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, wide access towards information made available through the Linking Words
internet
allows Capitalize word
Internet
people
to increase their awareness towards their respective Use synonyms
health
conditions. Having Use synonyms
this
awareness becomes key to improving their Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
condition
(which will Use synonyms
consequently
increase the average standard of Linking Words
people
's Use synonyms
health
) because once someone is aware of the state of their physique, they can identify areas that need tending to and do any precautionary procedures needed to prevent their Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
condition
from deteriorating even Use synonyms
further
. Linking Words
For example
, if I were to undergo any Linking Words
symptoms
of discomfort, I can resort to a Use synonyms
health
consultation application where I can directly be in contact Use synonyms
to
doctors who will diagnose my Change preposition
with
symptoms
and prescribe the necessary medications for myself. Use synonyms
This
process is a lot more direct compared to previous times Linking Words
where
I would need to come to the hospital in person to get the same consultation about my Correct word choice
when
symptoms
from the same doctors, and having Use synonyms
the
access to Correct article usage
apply
this
application shall create Linking Words
better
level of average standard Correct article usage
a better
health
.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, advancement in medical technology makes it possible to cure some illnesses that could not have been cured prior to the discovery of these technologies. The landscape of hospitals, wherein surgeries and examinations of patients are conducted, Linking Words
have
experienced major changes in the past decades, and the possibility of technological advancements is endless for the Correct subject-verb agreement
has
future
as well. Use synonyms
This
makes Linking Words
people
with illnesses can have Use synonyms
higher
possibility of recovery, increasing their average standard of Correct article usage
a higher
health
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, innovations in Linking Words
detection
of Add an article
the detection
symptoms
can Use synonyms
also
contribute Linking Words
in
preventing illnesses, making Change preposition
to
people
's life expectancy go higher. My family has experienced these innovations as well, where my mother's Use synonyms
condition
can be identified through Use synonyms
this
more advanced technology, which eventually allowed her to be tended to by the necessary surgery.
In conclusion, it would be more likely for Linking Words
people
in the Use synonyms
future
to see that their average standard of Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
be
higher compared to now. Wide information access Change the verb form
is
have
made it possible for Change the verb form
has
people
to identify their Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
condition
more quickly and create the necessary action steps needed, and the advancements in technology used within the medical field have Use synonyms
also
created possibilities for doctors to advise more curative and preventive acts that can help Linking Words
people
achieve better life expectancy and Use synonyms
greater
level of Add an article
a greater
average
standard of Add an article
the average
health
.Use synonyms
Submitted by tania.ekoputri on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is essential for a well-structured essay. However, make sure to briefly indicate the main points you will discuss to strengthen your introduction.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are clear, and your main points are thoroughly discussed. To enhance your task response even further, ensure that all examples given are explicitly tied back to the broader argument to avoid any potential ambiguity.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay has good logical progression, be cautious with repetitive phrases. Using various cohesive devices will make your writing more fluent and engaging.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your paragraphs are well-constructed, and the flow of information is smooth. Ensure that all topic sentences effectively summarize the subsequent points to maintain coherence, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure, starting with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs, and concluding with a powerful conclusion.
Task Achievement
You provide strong examples from personal experience that support your main ideas, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion successfully sums up the points discussed and reinforces your stance, which is a strong way to end your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example