The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world

The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world
The pie charts compare
San
Diego
,
California
and Worldwide in terms of how much
water
was consumed/ used for residential, industrial,
agricultural
Correct word choice
and agricultural
show examples
purposes.
Overall
, the rate of
water
consumption for Agriculture
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Worldwide was by far the highest in all sectors
while
residential accounts for the majority of using
water
in
San
Diego
.
San
Diego
and worldwide,
additionally
, were similar in using
water
in
San
Diego
and Worldwide for industrial purposes. As can be seen from the charts, the percentage of
water
consumption for agriculture held the lion’s share
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Worldwide, accounting for 69%, followed by
California
and
San
Diego
, with 28% and 17% respectively. There was a similar percentage in the proportion of
water
used for Industry in
San
Diego
and Worldwide, taking up 23%, which was 10% lower than the figure for
California
.
On the other hand
, 60% of the amount of
water
used for Residential COMES from
San
Diego
, hitting the highest point in the purpose, compared with 39% in
California
WHILE
the lowest number belonged to using
water
for Residential worldwide, making up 8%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words san, diego, california, water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compare" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • households
  • significant
  • industrial use
  • implications
  • agriculture
  • geographical
  • climatic
  • economic factors
  • patterns
  • sustainability
  • practices
  • surprising
  • exceptionally
  • improvements
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