3. Some people say that the best way to reduce traffic and pollution is the government to increase tax of petrol (gasoline). Do you think there are more benefits or more drawbacks?

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Some people
use
Use synonyms
petrol
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and some people
use
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electricity for vehicles. They pay
taxes
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for using a
car
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and
government
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law always changes
taxes
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I think traffic is the best
air
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pollution problem. Every house has more than 2 cars.
Then
Linking Words
, they don't
use
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public
transportation
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. Public
transportation
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is very important for
air
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pollution. Because if they
use
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public
transportation
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, it will be less traffic and
air
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pollution.
In contrast
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, the
government
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has to upgrade all
transportation
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problems. By the way, I'm living in Istanbul, the metro is good but the buses and metro buses are not good. No fresh
air
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and very crowded.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, which one is good for the world,
petrol
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or electric? The
car
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industry generally uses
petrol
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because many years ago electric energy was not powerful. Recently electric vehicles have become very popular.
Furthermore
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, some people
use
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solar panels. They took energy from the sun. That's fantastic, energy is free.
This
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situation game changer. Now is good but many years later maybe we can't find battery material. Lithium very dangerous material. Battery recycling is not possible. In conclusion, the
government
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is absolutely right.
Petrol
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is not good for nature more than electric vehicles.
For example
Linking Words
, if you using
petrol
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, you can't go to zone 1-2-3 in London. The
government
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is very serious about
petrol
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
government
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has been supporting electric vehicle
taxes
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for fresh
air
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. But ı'm a little nervous about battery junk. It's dangerous. I
use
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gasoline and ı wish to
use
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an electric
car
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.
This
Linking Words
is not about tax,
this
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is just carried to nature. But electric
car
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taxes
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are very high in Turkey.
Submitted by oguzozgurugur on

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coherence cohesion
The essay does not have a clear introduction that outlines the scope of the discussion or a properly structured conclusion summarizing the key points. Consider starting with an introductory paragraph that outlines the primary arguments and concludes with a summary paragraph that reiterates the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay is somewhat disorganized and lacks a clear sequence of ideas. Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main point and provide supporting evidence or examples. Consider using transition words and phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
While the essay touches on important points, it lacks depth in discussing the benefits and drawbacks of increasing petrol taxes specifically. Expanding on how increased petrol taxes could lead to reduced traffic and pollution would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
There are some instances of generalizations without specific examples, such as the mention of public transportation in Istanbul. Providing more precise examples or data would make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
The essay addresses pertinent issues related to traffic, pollution, and the use of petrol and electric vehicles, showing a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You raise interesting points about the alternatives to petrol, such as electric vehicles and solar energy, which enriches the discussion.
task achievement
The personal example about living in Istanbul and the quality of public transportation adds a relatable touch to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • excise tax
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable transportation
  • public transit
  • eco-friendly alternatives
  • commuter benefits
  • fuel efficiency
  • environmental levy
  • traffic congestion
  • renewable energy sources
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