3. Some people say that the best way to reduce traffic and pollution is the government to increase tax of petrol (gasoline). Do you think there are more benefits or more drawbacks?
Some people
use
petrol
and some people use
electricity for vehicles. They pay taxes
for using a car
and government
law always changes taxes
.
Firstly
, I think traffic is the best air
pollution problem. Every house has more than 2 cars. Then
, they don't use
public transportation
. Public transportation
is very important for air
pollution. Because if they use
public transportation
, it will be less traffic and air
pollution. In contrast
, the government
has to upgrade all transportation
problems. By the way, I'm living in Istanbul, the metro is good but the buses and metro buses are not good. No fresh air
and very crowded.
On the other hand
, which one is good for the world, petrol
or electric? The car
industry generally uses petrol
because many years ago electric energy was not powerful. Recently electric vehicles have become very popular. Furthermore
, some people use
solar panels. They took energy from the sun. That's fantastic, energy is free. This
situation game changer. Now is good but many years later maybe we can't find battery material. Lithium very dangerous material. Battery recycling is not possible.
In conclusion, the government
is absolutely right. Petrol
is not good for nature more than electric vehicles. For example
, if you using petrol
, you can't go to zone 1-2-3 in London. The government
is very serious about petrol
. On the other hand
, the government
has been supporting electric vehicle taxes
for fresh air
. But ı'm a little nervous about battery junk. It's dangerous. I use
gasoline and ı wish to use
an electric car
. This
is not about tax, this
is just carried to nature. But electric car
taxes
are very high in Turkey.Submitted by oguzozgurugur on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay does not have a clear introduction that outlines the scope of the discussion or a properly structured conclusion summarizing the key points. Consider starting with an introductory paragraph that outlines the primary arguments and concludes with a summary paragraph that reiterates the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay is somewhat disorganized and lacks a clear sequence of ideas. Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main point and provide supporting evidence or examples. Consider using transition words and phrases to help guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
While the essay touches on important points, it lacks depth in discussing the benefits and drawbacks of increasing petrol taxes specifically. Expanding on how increased petrol taxes could lead to reduced traffic and pollution would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
There are some instances of generalizations without specific examples, such as the mention of public transportation in Istanbul. Providing more precise examples or data would make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
The essay addresses pertinent issues related to traffic, pollution, and the use of petrol and electric vehicles, showing a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You raise interesting points about the alternatives to petrol, such as electric vehicles and solar energy, which enriches the discussion.
task achievement
The personal example about living in Istanbul and the quality of public transportation adds a relatable touch to the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example