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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram shows how apple is canned. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The diagram shows how apple is canned. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
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The given diagram illustrates the process of turning apples into compotes.
Overall
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. it can be seen that there are 14 levels to reach
this
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 goal which starts with picking them from the trees and finishes with putting them into the boxes.
According to
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 the data, the process started with picking fresh apples by hand and sending them to the manufacturer where they are washed.
Then
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 they are checked to be qualified before they are stored in a cold place like a refrigerator to be ready for the next step which is weighing them. Afterwards, they are peeled and sliced into small pieces to be fitted
in
Change preposition
into
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 the jars. In the ninth step, the apple jars are sealed and cooked in huge pots to become long-lasting. The next stage is labelling followed by storing them in the storeroom.
Finally
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, they are despatched into the boxes to become available for the customers.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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