Many people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences in earning between the richest and the poorest members. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
In the modern era, groups of individuals believe the gap between
affluent
and Correct article usage
the affluent
below
the poverty line should be minimal so that a joyful Correct determiner usage
those below
society
can be flourished
. I agree with Wrong verb form
flourish
this
statement. My essay will provide details with examples.
To begin
with, equal distribution of wealth is an important aspect of economic stability. If the accumulation of wealth is in hands
of fewer individuals Correct article usage
the hands
then
there are chances of instability in society
as the rich will take undue advantage of weaker
section of Correct article usage
the weaker
society
. For example
, many reputed businessmen want to expand their business
horizons therefore
their continued efforts to purchase more land for business
expansion sometimes they to cheat low-income groups by forcefully taking their land at minimal cost. Therefore
it is essential to bridge the gap between richer and poor
sections and Correct word choice
poorer
authorites'
intervention is required so that underprivileged sections of Correct your spelling
authorities'
society
will not cheated by affluent persons.
Even though some efforts are made to reduce the gap between two sections of society
, however
, individuals believe that sometimes it is good for long-term business
growth perspective. For instance
, a report published in the corporate magazine,
indicated that some shift in the thinking process of modern Remove the comma
apply
business
as they are started dealing with corporate social responsibility and serving those who are in need through charity to non-government organizations. Therefore
, if the business
world is taking important steps to help and safeguard the requirement of weaker section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
then
they should continue with this
approach in future.
To conclude
, satisfaction in society
can be achieved by reducing disparity in income groups. Small efforts should be incorporated to promote a helping hand to those who are in need so that everyone in society
will be treated with respect and care.Submitted by [email protected] on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To enhance your essay, provide more specific examples and additional supporting details for your main points. This will make your arguments more compelling and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Some transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance readability. Use a variety of cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt well, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant points and examples.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively provide an opening and a closing to your essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is generally good, with each paragraph focusing on a specific idea related to the topic.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!