IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think everyone should be a vegetarian, because we do not need to eat meat to stay healthy. To what do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, most
people
Use synonyms
 believe everyone
does
Verb problem
should
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 not eat
meat
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products
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 and should be a vegetarian.
That is
Linking Words
 why they think that eating
meat
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 is harmful rather than vegetarian foods.
Although
Linking Words
 eating
meat
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 can cause some health
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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humans
Change the noun form
human
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 bodies
needs
Change the verb form
need
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meat
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products
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 that we take
protein
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 from
meat
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. Eating a lot of
meat
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 and
meat
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products
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 has a negative effect on the human body.
Such
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 as being overweight, much of cholesterol, and
heart
Add a missing verb
having heart
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diseases
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disease
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. These problems affect
people
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's lifestyles. In the modern world, many
people
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 consume fast food which consists of
meat
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.
This
Linking Words
meat
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 is very harmful because it doesn't cook enough. Research in Australia gives a lot of important information about consuming
meat
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.
For example
Linking Words
, eating
meat
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products
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 2 or 3 times a day
people
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 would become overweight and
heart
Add a missing verb
have heart
show examples
 disease. So that every
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people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
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eat
Correct subject-verb agreement
eats
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 good
meat
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 which cooks in different steps by one by.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
meat
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products
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 consist of many vitamins and minerals. For example,
protein
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, vitamin E, B12 and iron. These vitamins are very important for the human body.
People
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 always try to get energy in order to be active, strong and healthy.
That is
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 why
people
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 eat useful and natural foods which are full of vitamins. If
people
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 eat
meat
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products
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 with limits, it would be positive and
people
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 feel themselves energetic . Doctors say
people
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 have less iron which is the reason for slumber, stress, eye problems and being inactive.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
sportsman
Change to a plural noun
sportsmen
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 need a lot of
protein
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 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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they eat
meat
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products
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.
Protein
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 in
meat
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 helps
people
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 to be healthy and strong. In conclusion, humans consume vegetables and
meat
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products
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 with limits. And
human'
Change noun form
human
show examples
 bodies would be strong and healthy.

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task response
To improve clarity, refine your thesis statement in the introduction to clearly outline your stance and key points. For example, you might state, 'While some argue for a vegetarian lifestyle for health reasons, I believe that a balanced diet including meat is crucial for overall health.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression between sentences and paragraphs. For example, integrate smoother transitions like, 'Moreover' or 'In addition' to connect ideas more coherently.
task response
Although you provide relevant examples, ensure they directly support your main points with more detail. For instance, discuss specific studies or elaborate on how athletes benefit from protein in meat.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to check for minor grammatical and syntactical errors to enhance readability. For example, 'For example, eating meat products 2 or 3 times a day people would become overweight and heart disease.' could be revised to 'For example, consuming meat products 2 or 3 times a day can lead to overweight and heart disease.'
task response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, discussing potential health issues associated with meat consumption as well as the benefits of nutrients found in meat.
task response
You include relevant points and examples to explain your position, such as the Australian research on meat consumption and the benefits of vitamins found in meat.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wrong
  • healthier
  • animals
  • conditions
  • killed
  • cruel
  • fair
  • diet
  • fruits
  • vegetables
  • better
  • longer
  • impact
  • production
  • land
  • water
  • energy
  • pollution
  • cultural
  • traditions
  • part
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