Some people believe that technology has made education more effective and accessible, while others think that it negatively impacts student performance and teacher-student relationships. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion.

Since the
internet
was discovered , it has changed a lot of things. One of these is the
education
system.
While
some people claim that the
internet
is beneficial to
education
and
students
, other people claim that since the
internet
was discovered, it has negatively influenced
students
. I strongly agree with the first part and in
this
essay, both views will be discussed and my own opinion will be stated.(63) On the one hand, the
internet
affects
education
and schools positively. Nowadays, it is easier for
students
and teachers to communicate thanks to the
internet
. When
students
have difficulties
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
a topic, they can reach their teacher to ask questions about the topic and their teacher can help them. Even if teachers are far away, they can
also
control their
students
thanks to the
internet
.(61)
On the other hand
, the
internet
influences
students
’ educational life negatively because the
students
get used to it easily and their focus time has decreased because of the
internet
. When their teacher gives homework to
students
, they directly copy
from
Correct pronoun usage
it from
show examples
internet
sites.
According to
research conducted,
Italian
Change preposition
by Italian
show examples
researcher
Fix the agreement mistake
researchers
show examples
says
Verb problem
apply
show examples
since
discovered
Wrong verb form
discovering
show examples
the
internet
,
students
’ success rate has reduced.(55) To my mind, the
internet
is so beneficial for
students
that there are infinite sources for
students
’ homework and exams.
Students
can do better on exams by watching lesson videos during exam weeks or when
students
are sick, they can’t go to school and they watch their subjects
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
internet
. Teachers have
also
source options.
Thus
, they teach more
efficient
Change the word
efficiently
show examples
to
students
thanks to these sources.(65)
To sum up
, there are different claims about
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
or harms of the
internet
. Some parents are anxious about that topic but other parents
also
think the
internet
should be used for
education
.
Submitted by svdnruslu on

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Introduction
Your introduction provides a clear direction for the essay, but it could be more engaging. Try to start with a strong hook or general statement on the topic before presenting your thesis.
Development of Ideas
You present both views adequately but could provide more detailed analysis and explanation. Aim to include more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using more varied and appropriate transitional phrases would enhance coherence and cohesion.
Balancing Arguments
The essay's structure is generally clear, but pay attention to maintaining balance in your arguments. Each view should be explored with equal depth and clarity.
Conclusion
You have provided a conclusion that summarizes your stance, but it could be stronger by restating the key points discussed and emphasizing your opinion more clearly.
Content Understanding
Your essay attempts to discuss both views, demonstrating your understanding of the topic.
Clear Argument
You have a clear thesis statement indicating your stance on the issue.
Essay Structure
The structure of the essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, is apparent and logical.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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