In some cities, public parks and open spaces are changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?
Presently, some public parks in cities and empty
black
are allowed to grow vegetables and Fix the agreement mistake
blacks
fruit
from local resident
. The writer means Fix the agreement mistake
residents
hat
it is very good if Correct your spelling
that
people
do this
work
in public places because people
can consume fresh product
and connect to Fix the agreement mistake
products
people
, but it has some problem
like Fix the agreement mistake
problems
people
are difficult to manage thief, bad guys.
It is vital to see that people
will be eaten
fresh Wrong verb form
eat
fruit
and vegetables which they grow. In fact, most Fix the agreement mistake
fruits
of
Change preposition
apply
companies
Add an article
the companies
both
use Correct pronoun usage
apply
pesticide
for Fix the agreement mistake
pesticides
vegetable
and Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
fruit
to maintain Fix the agreement mistake
fruits
the
profit, so Correct article usage
apply
we
go to Rephrase
when we
market
, it Correct article usage
the market
sure
that we will buy vegetables which Add a missing verb
is sure
got
Wrong verb form
have had
pesticide
before. Fix the agreement mistake
pesticides
However
, Add an article
the pesticide
a pesticide
pesticide
Fix the agreement mistake
pesticides
is
not totally unhealthy, it is so convenient and Correct subject-verb agreement
are
help
companies to raise Change the verb form
helps
effeciency
, but it will be better if we grow by Correct your spelling
efficiency
us
.
Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
In
the other hand, we must accept that it is very difficult to manage, no one Change preposition
On
want
their garden Change the verb form
wants
is
destroyed. The largest problem is public places, because Unnecessary verb
apply
park
always have a lot of Fix the agreement mistake
parks
persons
, they may put their feet in your garden despite their Replace the word
people
careless
. Replace the word
carelessness
Furthermore
, he
thief will steal your vegetable and Correct your spelling
the
fruit
, it is really a
bad Remove the article
apply
work
.
In my opinion, I think we should keep creating more greenspaces
by using public spaces. Not only Correct your spelling
green spaces
people
can get fresh food everyday
, but Replace the word
every day
also
this
work
help
Change the verb form
helps
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
interaction
between Add an article
the interaction
people
. Recording
to my experience, Verb problem
According
people
depend on Add an article
the internet
internet
to communicate, so Capitalize word
Internet
this
work
will give a part of positivity for
society.
Change preposition
to
To conclude
, it is really good if public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens for people
to grow, but this
work
still have
lots of problems. In my mind, it will improve our society.Change the verb form
has
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task achievement
Your response covers both the benefits and disadvantages of converting public parks and spaces into gardens. However, there are some areas where clarity is lacking. Focus on articulating your ideas more clearly and concisely. For example, ensuring subject-verb agreement and proper usage of articles can significantly improve the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While the logical structure of your argument is generally clear, some points feel underdeveloped. Consider expanding on how growing one's own vegetables could improve community connections, perhaps through examples or hypothetical scenarios. Additionally, addressing counterarguments more thoroughly can strengthen your position.
task achievement
You provide a clear introduction that outlines your main points regarding both the advantages and disadvantages of community gardening in public spaces.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a conclusion that reinforces your main argument, advocating for the benefits despite the challenges, which provides a cohesive end to your response.
coherence cohesion
Your willingness to address both sides of the argument demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue, which is commendable and adds depth to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.