In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Public parks and open
slot
will be replaced by gardens in some Fix the agreement mistake
slots
metropolist
Correct your spelling
metropolis
metropolises
that
local Correct word choice
where
people
can plant their own fruits and vegetables. The writer of this
essay will give the point about the advantages and disadvantages of altering public operation
into gardens. Admittedly Fix the agreement mistake
operations
that
all Correct word choice
apply
changing
will Replace the word
changes
be had
some Wrong verb form
have
restriction
but the benefits of Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
stransforming
are Correct your spelling
transforming
more large
.
The fact that community activities like growing fresh fruits and vegetables together can connect Replace the words
larger
people
. When one person works hard, others can share part of the difficulty, responsibility and work will become easier, us everyone will realize that the quality of group work will be higher than individual work. In some studies, it's
can be seen readily that working together will make Unnecessary verb
it
people
more sociable and more sympathetic to others. This
way can bind people
together in the good behavier
.
Correct your spelling
behaviour
However
, the phenomenon has some drawbacks, it means individuals will not have a place to walk or practice some sports in open areas, hence
it will be brought some illnesses such
as obesity. A recent survey by Focus shows most of the city residents go for a walk at least one time a day in parks. This
gives the idea that public areas must be reserved for people
’s health being.
In conclusion, despite lossing
parks and open spaces that urbanites can use to exercise on a regular basis, gardening may provide some health benefits that can compensate.In Correct your spelling
losing
the
other ways, collective Correct article usage
apply
labor
can Change the spelling
labour
also
bring joy to the boring life of urban people
.Submitted by [email protected]
on
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task achievement
Make sure to clearly articulate your stance in the introduction. While you mention that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, that statement could be more explicitly connected to your main points.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph’s main idea is effectively supported with specific examples or evidence. Some sections lack detailed support for their main points.
coherence cohesion
Enhance clarity by using varied sentence structures, and ensure that grammar and vocabulary help convey your arguments succinctly. For instance, phrases like "the fact that" and "admittedly that" detract from clarity.
coherence cohesion
Divide your ideas clearly into paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, with sufficient explanation and examples to support it. Transition between ideas needs to be smoother.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction that outlines the topic and presents a stance on the issue, which helps frame the subsequent discussion.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and offers a balanced view on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.