The bar chart shows attendance of people in difference ages in music events in Australia in 2006

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The given bar chart illustrates the percentages of participants in various ages of music

events

Use synonyms

in 2006 in Australia, measured in percentage(%).

Overall

Linking Words

, the amount of people

attended in

Wrong verb form

attending

show examples

popular

events

Use synonyms

exist

Verb problem

show examples

the highest and classical

events

Use synonyms

exist

Verb problem

are

show examples

the lowest. With the exception of

Use synonyms

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

45-54 and

age

Use synonyms

55+.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the trend of classical

events

Use synonyms

was similar with the range from 8% to 11% during the period. Looking at the figures of individuals

participate

Correct pronoun usage

who participate

show examples

in popular

events

Use synonyms

, where the percentage had

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

a peak at 38% at

age

Use synonyms

15-24, which

followed

Add a missing verb

was followed

show examples

by 33% at

age

Use synonyms

35-44 and 27% at

age

Use synonyms

25-34. With the exception of

age

Use synonyms

45-54 and

age

Use synonyms

55+, where opera

events

Use synonyms

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

the most popular about 13% and 5% respectively. Turning to the amount of attendance for classical, the people

Correct pronoun usage

who attend

show examples

attend

Wrong verb form

attended

show examples

was stable in all ages

range

Wrong verb form

ranging

show examples

from 8% to 10%. Likely , the figure

Change preposition

for

show examples

opera

events

Use synonyms

was similar about 15% for both 45-54 and 55+ ages, where

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

opera

events

Use synonyms

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

the most popular during 2006.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the percentage for

opera’s

Change noun form

opera

show examples

attendance at

Use synonyms

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

15-24, 25-34 and 35-44 stood at 13%, 14% and 25% respectively.

[email protected]Mon May 27 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words events, age with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

189 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
some epople think pollution and damage of environment are resulted from a country developing. to what extent do you agree or disagree
There is a common view that due to the country's evolution, deterioration and environmental extermination have been increasing. The writer agrees with this notion because there is more growth in building an infrastructure of a particular country along with transportation in modern society. When it comes to the infection rising in the earth, a commercial area is known to cause it. That is to say, in a modernized country, constructing a lot of high buildings in a specific area is a fundamental element, this situation gives rise to the cutting of plants down to open more space with add more accommodations purpose. As a result, it engenders the reduction of trees which absorb the dioxide and produce oxygen making the air fresher in order to help humans with breathing. Another noticeable reason is how moving on the street by individual freight too much also enhances the pollution in the environment. To put it simply, nowadays people are more like to use their own influx to get around t...
6.5
band
Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
Museums serve as vital repositories of culture, history, and art, attracting visitors from diverse backgrounds seeking enrichment and education. However, there are pros and cons nowadays regarding fees the people should pay to enter some museums. In my point of view, this entrance fee outweighs the drawbacks and both sides will be explained in this essay.
7
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
There are some parts of the community who consider that research on animals is bad and should be banned. Conversely, any essential scientific discoveries would be made from animals’ tests being a reason for others. Personally, even though the latter statement seems beneficial, it should implemented under the supervision of the stakeholders to make sure it still running in a good way.
7.5
band
In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in the availability of foods produced in diverse parts of the world. Some may laud the convenience and excitement that would be accompanied by eating international foods in your home country, while, in this essay, I intend to argue that the drawbacks of this trend far outweigh its benefits. The reasons for this are as follows.
7.5
band
As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that the users should cover the costs. Discuss and give your opinion.
With the growing number of vehicles on the roads, a lot of expenses are required for the building and maintenance of road infrastructure.Some folks argue that the governments should fund these projects while others believe that it is the responsibility of citizens to pay the dues. I think that the overall expenses should be borne by the rulers who are already taking a large sum of money from the residents in the form of taxes.

The bar chart shows attendance of people in difference ages in music events in Australia in 2006

some epople think pollution and damage of environment are resulted from a country developing. to what extent do you agree or disagree

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that the users should cover the costs. Discuss and give your opinion.