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Band 5.5

Tell us what has inspired you to become a teacher and tell us why you think teaching is a good career choice for you.

#teacher #career #choice
Motivation
Correct pronoun usage
My motivation
show examples
 to become a teacher has grown significantly since I met a dedicated and ambitious teacher named Mr. Kawaguchi at high school, who taught me what is important in life. As he took
students
 to various places for
excursion
Fix the agreement mistake
excursions
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 and outdoor activities to explore the world, he showed
students
 not only the
importance
 of hard work but
also
 the
importance
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
 wild and adventurous by allowing them to discover something meaningful to themselves.
For instance
, I became more interested in nature and biology when we were taken to mountains and rivers and became more aware of the
importance
 of friendship and cooperation when we were encouraged to work in a group.
Such
 diverse experiences have made me more curious about the world around me, increasing my eagerness to learn and become a teacher so I can develop
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
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 skills of others, which are essential for solving complicated problems in
this
 fast-changing society. I think that teaching is a good career choice for me because I am patient and able to make a steady commitment to a task.
In other words
, no matter how difficult it seems to achieve a goal at
first,
I am able to make a gradual effort, without losing hope for improvement. To illustrate
this
, even when my class was disorganized in the beginning as some
students
 acted violently
while
 others were frequently absent from school, I kept stressing the
importance
 of morality and hard work throughout the whole
periods
Fix the agreement mistake
period
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 of time.
Furthermore
, I sometimes spent hours consulting with
students
 to encourage them to reflect on their own
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 so as not to repeat the same mistake.
As a result
 of dealing with various challenges at school, I am better able to gain
trust
Correct article usage
the trust
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
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students
, promoting their responsible and independent acts.
Submitted by mizuho on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to enhance the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Add a concluding paragraph to summarize your main points and provide closure.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or anecdotes to further illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs focusing on different aspects of why teaching is a good career choice for you.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as your experiences with nature and dealing with challenging students, to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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