IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where the local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantage?

#cities #parks #spaces #gardens #residents #fruit #vegetables
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Wherther
Correct your spelling
Whether
 some public parks in cities and spaces are being changed into gardens
into gardens
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
where local
people
 can
plant
 their own fruit and vegetables.
This
writter
Correct your spelling
writer
 will argue
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the negative impact when
people
plant
 their own fruit and vegetables in some public parks and open spaces. The
most
Correct word choice
biggest
show examples
advantages
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advantage
show examples
 of growing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plants in public
places
 is hard to manage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
. The public parks and open
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
place
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places
show examples
 where everyone can do a lot of
activities
such
 as playing
Add an article
a sport
the sport
show examples
sport
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sports
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and do
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do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
excercises
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exercises
,... When some
people
 grow their
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
 in that place, other
people
 cannot do other
activities
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there. It will cause some social problems.
Therefore
, we need to share public
places
 with other
people
. Another
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
 that
plant
Wrong verb form
planting
show examples
 their own fruit and vegetables in public
places
 is positive. One of the reasons
that
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apply
show examples
is community
activities
 to connect
people
. That opinion is true in some
condition
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conditions
show examples
 but in my opinion,
people
 have
another
Replace the adjective
another activity
other activities
show examples
activities
 to connect with other
people
. In
colusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
collusion
, we need to take responsibility to protect and share public
places
 with other
people
.
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introduction and conclusion
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should clearly state your position and provide a brief overview of the main points you will discuss. The conclusion should summarize the key points and reinforce your position.
examples and explanations
Develop your main points with specific examples and detailed explanations. This will make your arguments more convincing and help illustrate your points more effectively.
logical linking
Improve logical cohesion by using more connecting words and phrases to clearly link your ideas. This will make your essay easier to follow and more cohesive.
balanced approach
The essay attempts to address both advantages and disadvantages of the issue, which shows a balanced approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban Agriculture
  • Community Engagement
  • Social Interaction
  • Physical Exercise
  • Mental Relaxation
  • Fresh Produce
  • Sustainability
  • Biodiversity
  • Carbon Footprint
  • Air Quality
  • Educational Opportunities
  • Horticulture
  • Teamwork
  • Sustainable Living
  • Food Security
  • Locally-grown
  • Nutritious
  • Neighborhood Bonds
  • Urban Sustainability
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