The pie charts below show the result of a survey of children’s activities. The first chart shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second chart shows the activities in which the girls participate. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the result of a survey of children’s activities. The first

chart shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas

the second chart shows the activities in which the girls participate.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make

comparisons where relevant
The two pie charts compare the survey
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
of
boys
Change noun form
boys'
boy's
show examples
and
girls
Change noun form
girls'
girl's
show examples
participation in various free time and cultural activities. The data is calibrated in percentage.
Overall
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the
boys
are highly inclined towards games
while
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
significant ratio of
girls
opted
dancing
Change preposition
for dancing
show examples
. It is noticeable from the graph,
just
Correct pronoun usage
that just
show examples
more than one-third of
boys
played computer games
while
2.6% preferred playing Basketball.
Furthermore
, more than one-tenth of them liked to do Skateboarding and Soccer was preferred by 17% of
boys
. A very
less
Fix the agreement mistake
low
show examples
proportion of
boys
opted to read books, at 2%. Surprisingly, listening to music was an activity which was equally enjoyed by
boys
and
girls
, at 10%. Switching to
girls
Change noun form
girls'
girl's
show examples
activities, the most popular interest among
girls
was dancing
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
27% and reading at 21%, unlike
boys
. 11% and 15% preferred gymnastics, and netball. Interestingly, playing computer games was not
much
Rephrase
as
show examples
famous among
girls
as compared to
boys
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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