Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people ,However, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In my opinion
fucos
Correct your spelling
focus
just only one
type
of activity
fore
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
everything is not a really good idea and could be damaged other sides of a system,
also
this
opinion could be related to
this
question which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been asked. I`m going to explain
who
Correct word choice
how
show examples
this
mindset
is work
Wrong verb form
works
show examples
and the effect of
this
type
of activity. Managing just economic goals like
fainance
Correct your spelling
finance
or exports which are related to
economic
Add an article
the economic
an economic
show examples
system can
response
Replace the word
respond
show examples
only
some
Change preposition
to some
show examples
of
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
,
may
Correct pronoun usage
which may
show examples
including
Wrong verb form
include
show examples
dressing, shopping, eating,transporting and
also
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
, but they are not enough for a society
that is
thinking about
it`s
Replace the word
its
show examples
citizens to be happy. Other types of progress
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
are related to
manage
Change the verb form
managing
show examples
a lot of other
thing
Change the wording
things
show examples
like learning how
behave
Add the particle
to behave
show examples
and improving
motivations
Fix the agreement mistake
motivation
show examples
are much more
nessessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
,
also
this
type
of progress can
effected
Verb problem
affect
show examples
on
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
too,
for example
when a bunch of people are
satissfied
Correct your spelling
satisfied
, can do more than group of people who are not. In all just improving or
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
show examples
in some
specefic
Correct your spelling
specific
situation
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
couln`t
Correct your spelling
couldn`t
help
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society to improve on the other
type
of life or system.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Avoid grammatical and spelling errors such as 'fucos' which should be 'focus', 'fainance' should be 'finance', and misspellings like 'satissfied' (satisfied) and 'coulnd't' (couldn't). Consistent errors can hinder readability and understanding.
content
Enhance your essay by providing specific examples and clearer arguments. For instance, explaining how balancing economic development with social progress directly impacts overall societal well-being can make your argument more compelling.
structure
A conclusion that summarizes your key points and clearly restates your opinion will strengthen your essay's impact.
content
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant details. This will help in presenting a more logical structure.
content
The essay correctly points out the importance of balancing economic progress with other forms of development, and how focusing solely on economic aspects can be detrimental.
content
Your choice to address the holistic needs of a society and the positive impact of non-economic progress on overall happiness is a valuable perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: