The amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016.

#amount #money #children #charity #usa #year

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The pie charts detail the incomes and uses of youth charities located in the USA during 2016. The data reveals a clear relationship between earnings and the receive Turning first of all to the expend, it can be seen that there are mostly 3 expenses, program services, fundraising and management and general. At the same time, over 95 per cent of the expenditure is spent on program services which trend the youth charity. As far as the use of money is concerned, the

income

chart shows that the donation of food is making the biggest part of the revenue with 86 per cent. To the second value, community contributions have one over ten of the total

income

. At the other end of the scale, investment

income

and government

income

have the same proportion of 0.2 per cent. By way of summary, from the information provided in the pie charts, it can be seen that the total revenue sources have a slightly larger value rather than the expenditures.

Submitted by yusei.nakano on Mon May 27 2024

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task achievement

The essay contains some inaccuracies and awkward phrases that can affect clarity. Phrases such as 'earnings and the receive' and 'trend the youth charity' should be corrected for better understanding.

task achievement

Make sure each point is fully developed. For example, elaborate on how the expenditure supports the youth charity.

coherence cohesion

The essay needs a clearer structure with well-defined paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main point, either describing incomes or expenditures.

coherence cohesion

Ensure you have both an introduction and a conclusion that effectively summarize the content of the essay.

task achievement

The essay identifies the key components of income and expenditure for the children's charity.

coherence cohesion

The essay makes use of comparative language effectively, such as 'biggest part of the revenue' and 'at the other end of the scale.'

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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0
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

167 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

donations
grants
fundraising events
expenditure
administration costs
program expenses
direct benefits
indirect benefits
underprivileged children
education
healthcare
shelter
nourishment
medical treatments
basic needs
financial sustainability
transparency

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The amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016.

Fully explain your ideas

With the increasing use and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that sport or work may help people to deal with some problems

The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some businesses find that their new employees lack in basic interpersonal skills such as lack of ability to work With colleagues as a team. What are the causes and suggest possible solutions

Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extend do you agree or disagree?