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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show the layout of the ground floor of a museum in 1990 and in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The two plans show changes made to the layout of the ground floor of a
museum
Use synonyms
 between 1990 and 2010. The most striking alteration was the removal of the Archaeology gallery and the construction of two new spaces in its place: the children’s interactive zone and the poster display area. At the same time, the gift shop was expanded to include a café.
Moreover
Linking Words
, both the reception counter and the entrance to the
museum
Use synonyms
 were doubled in size.
In contrast
Linking Words
, several rooms, including the Natural
history
Capitalize the proper name
History
show examples
 room, the
museum
Use synonyms
 office and the Local
history
Capitalize the proper name
History
show examples
 room, remained unchanged.
In addition
Linking Words
, another significant modification was the relocation of the statue from near the stairs to the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the ground floor.
Also
Linking Words
, a lift was installed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between the gift shop and the Natural history room.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the number of doors decreased between 1990 and 2010. Taken as a whole, the ground floor of the
museum
Use synonyms
 went through a multitude of major alterations in those twenty years.

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task response
Give a clearer overall view of the main change: the museum added more visitor areas and made the main public spaces larger. This will help the reader see the big picture at once.
task response
Check every detail on the plans before writing. Be careful with words such as “doubled”, “in between”, and “number of doors”, as these points must match the maps exactly.
task response
Group changes by area. For example, write about the left side, the middle, and the right side. This can make the comparison more full and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your order is clear, but avoid using too many link words such as “Moreover”, “In addition”, “Also”, and “Furthermore” close together. Join related changes in one sentence or one paragraph instead.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear place words to guide the reader, such as “on the left”, “in the centre”, “next to the stairs”, and “at the bottom of the plan”.
coherence and cohesion
The last sentence repeats the main idea. A short overview near the start is usually enough, so you may not need a final closing sentence.
task response
You describe the main changes well, including the new children’s area, poster display, café, lift, and moved statue.
task response
You also note the areas that did not change, which makes the comparison more complete.
coherence and cohesion
The response has a clear opening and then moves through the changes in a logical way.
coherence and cohesion
Most sentences are easy to understand, and the contrast word “In contrast” is used well when you describe rooms that stayed the same.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • layout
  • exhibition space
  • gallery rooms
  • visitor facilities
  • accessibility
  • redesign
  • expansion
  • administrative areas
  • staff-only areas
  • gift shop
  • entrance
  • lobby area
  • restrooms
  • cafes
  • improvements
  • access areas
  • ground floor
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