IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that governments should pay for public health care and education, while others say that it is not governments’ responsibility. Please discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People often say that the
government
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 should pay for welfare states
such
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 as health care and education.
However
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, both an important factors for the nation. In
this
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 essay, both viewpoints will be outlined before reaching a conclusion.
To begin
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 with, the key to consider is citizens should pay taxes every month so
this
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 amount is for managing and allocating to welfare and others. In my opinion, it is the
government
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's responsibility to pay based on essential factors of society like, the learning system and health care system these two can make large profits for
countries
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.
For instance
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, if schools or universities have the best quality it will make the biggest foreigners want to learn in the
countries
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 and it can cost them more expensive than native students like in Canada the public school is free for native children but international students have to pay in highest price.
Also
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 hospitals everyone needs to access great health services because it affects their lives They will come to the
countries
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 without concerns as in Thailand many private hospitals have income from foreigners rather than citizens in the country.
On the other hand
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, numerous reasons there are the
government
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 has to control it and several issues are waiting solved by them.
Although
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, treatment and teaching have an impact on everyone
countries
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 on are large scales the
government
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 have to handle all of it so problems come in every year.
For example
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, pollution issues and the environment that increased every recent year.
Therefore
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 the states have to contribute their money to those matters first before they become out of control.
To sum up
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, it is a fact that well-being and school are important and can have many benefits for the country but it has to make a good plan but if the
government
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 can do it well it will make a lot of taxes and profits to improve the
countries
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.

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task response
Your essay addresses both viewpoints, but ensure to expand on each point equally to make a balanced argument. Provide more specific examples to support your opinions and clarify complex ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are generally coherent but would benefit from clearer transitions between points and paragraphs. Sentences sometimes lack clarity and fluency.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great for structuring your response.
task response
You provided some specific examples which make your points more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • **Equal Access**
  • **Economic Growth**
  • **Public Good**
  • **Preventative Measures**
  • **Social Stability**
  • **Financial Burden**
  • **Efficiency Issues**
  • **Limited Choice**
  • **Innovation**
  • **Moral Hazard**
  • fundamental human rights
  • socioeconomic status
  • productive population
  • social inequality
  • bureaucracy
  • competitive pressures
  • innovation
  • preventative measures
  • publicly funded
  • healthcare and education services
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