Some people believe that allowing children to make their own decisions on every matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is like to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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this

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contemporary society, the method of parenting giving the opportunity to make their own decisions has become a heated topic. Some people believe that allowing

children

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to decide about their

food

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, clothes and entertainment is a crucial thing.

However

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, others might argue

this

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idea by addressing some issues

such

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as showing inappropriate behaviour. In

this

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essay, I will examine both perspectives and provide my supporting opinion. Allowing

children

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to make their own choices offers multiple benefits

such

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as improving their self-confidence.

For example

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Children

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can express their personality and build their confidence through their outfits.

Furthermore

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, making their own choices helps

children

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explore new experiences and find their passions

such

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as finding their favorite hobbies.

For instance

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, some

children

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can find their interest in computer programming by playing video games and want to pursue their dream to become a computer engineer.

Although

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allowing

children

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to determine their own wishes or needs offers various advantages, some people may argue that

children

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lack critical thinking skills and easily show inappropriate behaviour.

Therefore

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, it is important for parents to monitor and help them choose some entertainment,

food

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and clothing. Some

children

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for example

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, may choose to eat only fast

food

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or sweet desserts rather than vegetables and fruits, which causes negative impacts on their health

such

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as obesity.

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, if parents permit

children

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to make their own decisions,

children

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might become self-centred.

children

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might show aggressive behaviour to force parents to follow their needs when they want to buy a new toy. In my opinion, it is essential to allow

children

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to make their own decisions in some situations

such

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as clothing,

food

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and entertainment or their hobbies because it helps

children

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be more confident and explore their own lifestyle. In some cases, the parent should provide some advice and help

children

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choose suitable alternatives.

bhavifasaiMon May 27 2024

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writing

Try to avoid some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to improve clarity and readability. For example, 'The method of parenting giving the opportunity to make their own decisions' could be phrased more smoothly.

writing

Add transitional devices and linking words to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will improve the coherence of your essay.

writing

You have provided strong, relevant examples to illustrate your points, such as the example about children developing a passion for computer programming through video games.

writing

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your points and offers your own opinion, bringing the essay to a cohesive close.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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