Studying art in schools improves studrnt's performance in other subjects ,because it is easier for multi_skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

studying
art
is beneficial in
schools
as it improves student's performance in other things , and it is useful for learning new things,
as well as
multi-skilled.
Hence
,
are is
Verb problem
it
show examples
must be essential in
schools
. first of all , almost most children
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
in
art
because there is a wide variety of
art
in the world
such
as music , painting ,
handicraft
Fix the agreement mistake
handicrafts
show examples
,
dance
Correct word choice
and dance
show examples
.
furthuremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, all of
courses
Add an article
the courses
show examples
are boring approximately , to illustrate , maths , sciences ,
physics
Correct word choice
and physics
show examples
. so ,
art
can make balance in
Add an article
the
show examples
academy.
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
some
sudents
Correct your spelling
students
have
talent
Add an article
the talent
a talent
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
art
and they are keen on
art
also
.
furthure
Correct your spelling
further
, it is
nessesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
that
art
be in
schools
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
for one , agree with
this
issue because of several reasons.
firstly
, in terms of
phsycology
Correct your spelling
psychology
art
can
decreas
Correct your spelling
decrease
stress and
refreshs
Correct your spelling
refreshes
refresh
the
mine
Correct your spelling
mind
show examples
specially when we are out of sorts or when we can not make up our minds.
in
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
a lot of arts , to mention some music can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on environment and plants. on the
ground
Add a comma
ground,
show examples
the
olants
Correct your spelling
plants
get fresh whenever we play the music.
it is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
high quality of
beauties
Fix the agreement mistake
beauty
show examples
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
on
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
. since wherever we look , we can see phenomena about arts. in conclusion ,
according to
people's ideas and
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
anecdotal evidence
art
is very important to be in
schools
and it obtains
rooms
Fix the agreement mistake
room
show examples
for improvement. as
art
has
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
to more skills.
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Improve your coherence by linking sentences and ideas more effectively. Use transition words and phrases to show the relationships between your ideas. This makes your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
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overall
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task achievement
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task achievement
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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

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  • such as
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  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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