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Studying art in schools improves studrnt's performance in other subjects ,because it is easier for multi_skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

#art #schools #studrnt #performance #subjects #students
studying
art
 is beneficial in
schools
 as it improves student's performance in other things , and it is useful for learning new things,
as well as
 multi-skilled.
Hence
 ,
are is
Verb problem
it
show examples
 must be essential in
schools
. first of all , almost most children
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
 in
art
 because there is a wide variety of
art
 in the world
such
 as music , painting ,
handicraft
Fix the agreement mistake
handicrafts
show examples
,
dance
Correct word choice
and dance
show examples
.
furthuremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, all of
courses
Add an article
the courses
show examples
 are boring approximately , to illustrate , maths , sciences ,
physics
Correct word choice
and physics
show examples
 . so ,
art
 can make balance in
Add an article
the
show examples
academy.
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 some
sudents
Correct your spelling
students
 have
talent
Add an article
the talent
a talent
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
art
 and they are keen on
art
also
.
furthure
Correct your spelling
further
, it is
nessesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 that
art
 be in
schools
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 for one , agree with
this
 issue because of several reasons.
firstly
 , in terms of
phsycology
Correct your spelling
psychology
art
 can
decreas
Correct your spelling
decrease
 stress and
refreshs
Correct your spelling
refreshes
refresh
 the
mine
Correct your spelling
mind
show examples
 specially when we are out of sorts or when we can not make up our minds.
in
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 a lot of arts , to mention some music can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 on environment and plants. on the
ground
Add a comma
ground,
show examples
 the
olants
Correct your spelling
plants
 get fresh whenever we play the music.
it is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
high quality of
beauties
Fix the agreement mistake
beauty
show examples
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
 on
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
. since wherever we look , we can see phenomena about arts. in conclusion ,
according to
 people's ideas and
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
anecdotal evidence
art
 is very important to be in
schools
 and it obtains
rooms
Fix the agreement mistake
room
show examples
 for improvement. as
art
 has
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to more skills.
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay's structure could be more logically organized. Consider a clear introduction that sets out your position, followed by body paragraphs that each cover a different point, and a coherent conclusion that summarizes your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve your coherence by linking sentences and ideas more effectively. Use transition words and phrases to show the relationships between your ideas. This makes your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
To improve your task achievement, expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations and specific examples. This will make your arguments more compelling and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
overall
Pay attention to spelling and grammar throughout your essay. Correcting these errors will make your arguments clearer and more professional.
task achievement
You have a clear point of view and some good ideas that support your position.
task achievement
Your essay covers multiple aspects of the topic, showing a comprehensive treatment of the subject.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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