Some people believe that modern technology, such as the internet and smartphones,creates more problems than it solves.

Some individuals think that advanced
technology
like the internet and
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
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has more troubles than its benefits. Honestly, it is
challenging
Correct article usage
a challenging
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topic but I agree with
this
idea. There are many reasons to establish the existence of
technology
brings many problems. First of all, the internet and gadgets involve many families. Many parents have difficulties with monitoring their kids because of their curiosity and adventurous
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
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. So, fathers and mothers should know about their surroundings and be updated with new
technology
.
This
way can help them to know how better way to behave with their kids. Another drawback of the network and mobile phones is related to financial issues especially hacking and phishing by anonymous persons. Many hackers try to access
to
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apply
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any devices to get private information from people
such
as
password
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passwords
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of credit cards,
date
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dates
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of birth, names and other data.
This
can help them to take
many
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money
show examples
from their bank accounts.
Other
Correct quantifier usage
Another
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negative
points
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point
show examples
of the internet
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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providing
frauding
Add an article
a frauding
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atmosphere for offenders.
For example
, they can
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
copy a signature from a person and use it in different ways. In a nutshell, some humans believe that not only the modern
technology
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not have positive points but it creates many problems for people like family issues,
financial
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and financial
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problems which make
hard
Correct pronoun usage
it hard
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situation for individuals to solve them.
Submitted by brightstargalaxy on

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task achievement
Strengthen your argument by providing more detailed examples. For instance, instead of just mentioning that hackers can access private information, explain briefly how they do it and the impact it has on individuals' lives.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Linking words and phrases can help with this. For example, use phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'Consequently' to connect your points.
introduction conclusion
Work on your conclusion to make it stronger. Summarize the main points you have discussed without introducing new ideas, and reinforce your overall argument to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay clearly states its position on the topic and attempts to support it with reasons and examples.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which provides a structured feel to the essay.
supported main points
The essay touches on various aspects of technology's impact, including family and financial issues, which shows an understanding of the topic's breadth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Cyberbullying
  • 2. Digital addiction
  • 3. Invasion of privacy
  • 4. Digital divide
  • 5. Enhanced communication
  • 6. Global connectivity
  • 7. Access to information
  • 8. Convenience
  • 9. Technological advancements
  • 10. Healthcare innovations
  • 11. Social media
  • 12. Online security
  • 13. Data breaches
  • 14. Privacy concerns
  • 15. Efficiency
  • 16. Telemedicine
  • 17. E-learning
  • 18. Virtual reality
  • 19. Internet of Things (IoT)
  • 20. Artificial Intelligence (AI)
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