Online shopping has gained immense popularity in recent years, challenging the traditional brick- and-mortar stores. Examine the advantages and disadvantages of both methods of shopping and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that challenging the traditional brick-and-mortar stores. online shopping has gained immense popularity in recent years, shopping offers convenience and a wide range of choices, there is
also
an argument that traditional stores provide a physical shopping experience and immediate product satisfaction.
This
essay will analyze
this
topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, online shopping has become immensely popular in recent years.
In other words
, online shopping eliminates the need for physical travel and long queues, saving time and effort.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
it provides a wider range of products and price options, enabling consumers to compare and make informed choices.
For example
, efficient metro systems in cities help alleviate traffic congestion and
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
air pollution, benefiting society as a whole.  On one hand, online shopping has become immensely popular in recent years.
In other words
, online shopping eliminates the need for physical travel and long queues, saving time and effort.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
it provides a wider range of products and price options, enabling consumers to compare and make informed choices.
For example
, efficient metro systems in cities help alleviate traffic congestion and decrease air pollution, benefiting society as a whole. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that both online shopping and traditional brick-and-mortar stores have their own advantages and disadvantages, and their significance may vary depending on individual preferences and circumstances.
Submitted by alsalhijohara on

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Task Achievement
Try to include more relevant specific examples to support the points made in your essay. For instance, instead of the example about metro systems, you could relate an incident where online shopping saved you time or effort.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your main points are well-supported with clear and comprehensive ideas. Elaborate more on why traditional stores offer product satisfaction, perhaps citing a specific experience or commonly known doubt about online purchases.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing a logical structure in your essay. Some paragraphs repeat information or seem disconnected from the topic. Organize the points to flow more naturally from one to the other.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a strong focus on the topic at hand and ensure all examples are directly relevant to the topic. This maintains reader engagement and enhances the clarity of your argument.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the topic by considering both online and traditional shopping methods.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in rounding off your essay well.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay indicates a clear sequence of ideas, showing that you understand the requirements of addressing multiple views.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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