Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children’s story book are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extend do you agree?

In today's fast-paced society, the
children
spending extensive
time
reading
children
's
story
books
is often questioned. Some people argue that young people should better prioritize their quality
time
in other productive fields.
While
I value a balanced lifestyle, I disagree with the above statement that reading
story
books
is wasteful.
To begin
with, reading
story
books
is crucial to youngsters for their cognitive and emotional development. Stories not only enhance a child's imaginative skills but
also
strengthen their language development and comprehensive abilities.
For instance
, research has shown that those
children
who started reading at an early age have strong vocabulary, grammar, and critical thinking skills which directly helped them in their academic success.
Moreover
,
Children
's
books
often convey moral lessons and values in a subtle and engaging manner. To be precise, storybook-like "The Tortoise and the Hare" teaches
children
about perseverance. Another example is "The Ugly Duckling" which provides valuable lessons regarding an acceptance of differences and promotes empathy. These lessons are foundational in shaping
children
's personalities and worldviews from a young age.
In contrast
, alternative activities
such
as excessive screen
time
or passive entertainment may offer immediate gratification but often lack the long-term benefits of reading. Activities like playing outdoors or engaging in sports fields are crucial for physical growth, but they should complement rather than replace the intellectual and emotional pros derived from reading. In conclusion,
children
should divide some of their valuable
time
for leisure activities like sports.
However
, they should
also
continue giving
time
to read
story
books
as it is not wasting their
time
but rather boosting them in a productive way.
Submitted by sandhyathapamagar854 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to enhance overall coherence. You could use more transitional phrases and connectors to achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor grammar errors and make sure each sentence flows naturally. For instance, 'To be precise, storybook-like...' could be phrased better as 'To be precise, storybooks like...'
task achievement
Expand on certain points to provide a fully rounded argument. For instance, you could elaborate more on how reading children's books specifically aids emotional development beyond moral lessons.
task achievement
Try to diversify sentence structures and vocabulary to make the essay more engaging and less repetitive. This will also help in expressing your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position, which sets the stage well for the argument.
task achievement
Good use of relevant examples like 'The Tortoise and the Hare' and 'The Ugly Duckling' to illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion nicely sums up the main points while reiterating your stance clearly.
coherence cohesion
Well organized structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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