IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people see that paying taxes is their only responsibility toward the society, while others see working more for it is much better Disccuse both point of views and write your opinion

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Paying
taxes
Use synonyms
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
responsibility
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 each individual in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
people
Use synonyms
 are split into half first group sees that paying
taxes
Use synonyms
 is the only
responsibility
Use synonyms
 that they should do to the
society
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
on the other hand
Linking Words
, some oppose their opinion and believe that
people
Use synonyms
 need to support the
community
Use synonyms
 with more stuff. Some
people
Use synonyms
 see paying their
taxes
Use synonyms
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 the only
responsibility
Use synonyms
 that they have towards the
community
Use synonyms
. They think that by paying their
taxes
Use synonyms
 they finished their tasks and
responsibility
Use synonyms
 toward the
society
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they count the
taxes
Use synonyms
 as paying the amount of money to be out of serving their surrounding
community
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 The New York Times, those
people
Use synonyms
 who are paying higher
taxes
Use synonyms
 are the same
people
Use synonyms
 who are using the
society
Use synonyms
 facilities and running them, especially in New York
due to
Linking Words
 the variables of
Use synonyms
taxes
Fix the agreement mistake
tax
show examples
 amount in the
last
Linking Words
 three years,
also
Linking Words
 the financial support of the surrounding states.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 oppose their opinion and view that individuals need to work more than just paying
taxes
Use synonyms
 to help improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 for certain factors. They see that there are a lot of reasonable things that they can do to help their
community
Use synonyms
 like Aid support and part-time jobs that may lead to a safer and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happier
society
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in 1991 a study happened in Richmond VA that showed that getting
people
Use synonyms
 busy and having them help each other in their free time reduced more than 37 percent of violence. In conclusion, my perspective is
by
Change preposition
that
show examples
 helping develop
society
Use synonyms
 and
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to work more for it is much better and safer for individuals and families.

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task achievement
In your introduction, clearly state both points of view and your opinion on the topic. This sets the stage for a balanced discussion and makes your position clear from the start.
coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraph logically: one paragraph for the first viewpoint, one for the second viewpoint, and a third for your personal opinion. This structure helps in maintaining coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases like 'Firstly,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' to make the progression of your ideas clear. This improves cohesion and makes your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and your ideas clearer.
coherence cohesion
Revise your sentences for grammatical accuracy and fluency. Practice writing complex sentences to improve the overall quality.
task achievement
You successfully cover both perspectives, providing arguments for each point of view.
task achievement
Your conclusion clearly states your opinion, which ties the essay together and gives it a sense of completeness.
task achievement
The examples you provided are relevant and help to illustrate your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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