IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the past when students did a university degree they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays they have morw opportunity to study abroad. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#students #university #study #country #morw #opportunity
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In the contemporary era, many graduate
students
Use synonyms
 are flying
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad for
further
Linking Words
 studies in comparison with the past time.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue that despite
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
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will
Verb problem
apply
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decline,there are countless opportunities and
well-established
Correct article usage
a well-established
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 atmosphere for the youth.
To begin
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 with,there are plenty of benefits to
study
Change the verb form
studying
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign countries. First and foremost is that plethora
chances
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of chances
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. It has been noticed that many developed nations open their gates
for
Change preposition
to
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 healthcare and IT sector people with handsome pay scales.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many
students
Use synonyms
 are attracted to study,work and settle in these nations.
For instance
Linking Words
, Canada is providing a special pathway for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical
students
Use synonyms
 from around the globe to settle in their
nation
Use synonyms
 to support
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 growth.
Moreover
Linking Words
,another significant benefit is modern technology with more
rely
Replace the word
reliance
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 on practical skills. Some economically strong countries are more
focusing
Replace the word
focused
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 on practicals rather than theories.
Apart from
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this
Linking Words
,they have
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 devices to teach their learners.
For example
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,many top universities
in
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
abroad are using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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smart
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
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 for
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 understanding of their
students
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,migrating to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 foreign
nation
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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few
Correct article usage
a few
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 cons. The
nation
Use synonyms
,from where graduates move,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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find
Correct subject-verb agreement
finds
show examples
decline
Add an article
a decline
the decline
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 in their economy,because youth are the foundation of
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 and if they migrate to different regions,it will create
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 negative impact on the growth of their
nation
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the younger generation is looking for the opportunities,which are provided by well-developed nations in terms of handsome salaries and digital education,
while
Linking Words
 it makes decline in the financial system of the country,
from
Change preposition
's
show examples
students
Use synonyms
are going
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by pp6859 on

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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity.
example
Try to include more specific examples to support your points effectively.
organization
Organize your ideas more clearly to enhance coherence and cohesion.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task completion
You provided specific benefits and drawbacks, addressing both sides of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exposure
  • Personal growth
  • Cultural sensitivity
  • Adaptability
  • Educational resources
  • Prestigious institutions
  • Networking
  • Global network
  • Career opportunities
  • Independence
  • Self-reliance
  • Problem-solving
  • Time management
  • Language skills
  • Global job market
What to do next:
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