IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there.

#places #homes #space #countryside #people
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All the major cities around the world are overcrowded, many people believe that they should build new homes in the countryside
however
 some are against it to protect the rural area. In
this
 essay, I will provide my opinion about
positives
Correct article usage
the positives
show examples
 and drawbacks before drawing a conclusion. First of all, accommodation is the most important for everyone, they need new homes to prepare for the growth of the population,
for example
, they are research about the population mentions that new babies born every second.
Furthermore
, the quality of life in the countryside must be better than in the big city which has too much noise, pollution and less green space.
On the other hand
, Urban expansions will cause effects on the environment
such
 as deforestation for development to meet housing demands,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 will destroy natural habitats and biodiversity.
To conclude
, the demand for new homes is always
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major problem for every country. In my opinion,
centralise
Wrong verb form
centralising
show examples
 people and everything in one area is easy to manage
however
 in the long run there are too many disadvantages. Extending new accommodation to the countryside is the most suitable idea for future development.
Submitted by o_unanan on

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task achievement
Your introduction identifies the topic and outlines the areas you will discuss. However, make sure to state your opinion more clearly early on and maintain this throughout the essay.
task achievement
You provide explanations and examples but some ideas could be developed further, especially in terms of depth and specificity.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically within paragraphs for better flow. Ensure each idea transitions smoothly to the next throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion should not introduce any new ideas but should summarize your main arguments and restate your position clearly.
task achievement
Your essay effectively introduces the topic and covers both positives and drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
The use of examples helps in supporting your points and making your argument more concrete.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Ecological benefits
  • Biodiversity conservation
  • Carbon sequestration
  • Sustainable development
  • Eco-friendly building materials
  • Green architecture
  • Government policies
  • Urban sprawl
  • Infrastructure
  • Smart planning
  • Agricultural lands
  • Rural areas
  • Population growth
  • Environmental sensitivity
What to do next:
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