IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Online education is becoming more popular. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In today's digitalized world, technology is developing rapidly,
this
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 has resulted in online learning becoming more popular. Some individuals argue that it is a positive development,
while
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 others oppose it to have a negative impact on our society. In
this
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 essay, I will give my response on the pros and cons of online
education
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, whether it has a positive or a negative development, and will
also
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 include relevant examples. The main benefit of online
education
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 is its availability. A person who has access to the Internet is eligible to learn different things online.
For instance
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, people working in full-time jobs can make use of online certifications to learn and grow in their particular field.
This
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 will help them to enhance their careers and save a lot of time commuting to educational institutions. Clearly, being able to attend
lectures
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 online has become the main reason for the increasing popularity of online tutoring. During the COVID-19 pandemic, online learning was the only way to educate students attending school. It played a significant role for young people to complete their
lectures
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 online through the use of their computers. The entire system of how the
lectures
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 used to be conducted in a traditional classroom changed.
For example
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, I completed my 12th grade during the pandemic, and all of my
lectures
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, assignment submissions, and even my final exams were conducted online.
However
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, online
education
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also
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 comes with potential drawbacks. If students have internet access, they might get distracted
such
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 as using social media platforms or playing games
instead
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 of focusing on their studies. In conclusion, the availability and flexibility of online
education
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 have gained massive popularity during the COVID-19 pandemic, but it can pose distractions for students. Balancing these factors could be a positive development for our society.

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task achievement
To make the essay even more impactful, ensure that the paragraph discussing the cons of online education is as developed as the paragraph discussing the pros. This gives a balanced view of the topic.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a good structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, try to make the transition between ideas smoother. This can be done by using more transition words and phrases.
task achievement
Ensure to proofread your essay for smaller grammatical errors and sentence structures to make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction that outlines the topic and states the intention to discuss both the pros and cons.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the impact of online education during the COVID-19 pandemic.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and provides a final perspective on the topic.
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