There is still a certain section of the society which lives under poverty despite the fact that countries where people belonging to this section live are becoming richer.Why do you think this happens and what can wealthy societies do to help their poorer members?

#section #society #lives #poverty #fact #countries #people #societies #members

Throughout the world, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

still plenty of poor populations despite the fact that in these countries the majority of

people

live on welfare and continue increasing their wealth. I personally believe that

this

condition happened because of government policy and the rich

community

can help by giving funds to a variety of charities. On the

one

hand, government policy mostly encourages wealthy

people

. Many developed countries use a policy of capitalism that supports populations who make more capital. As years passed most of the country's wealth gathered in the little portion of the society making the rich

community

that owns almost all.

This

kind of action left other nations in poverty without any chance of owning property.

For example

, in my neighbourhood,

one

rich man bought all the supermarkets that sell food and is about to build another

one

local minimarkets have given up their businesses because of competition.

On the other hand

, the rich

community

can help the poor society in many ways. Most of the rich

people

are entrepreneurs and they help the nation in poverty by establishing charities that financially support the poor public. Everyone knows that big charities take a significant portion of wages from donations by wealthy societies.

Furthermore

, rich

people

are

also

really keen on building new businesses that create new job opportunities for

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

For instance

, in the news, I see almost every day

one

of the celebrities or rich businessmen giving huge amounts of money to a charity which helps children suffering from cancer.

To conclude

although

rich

people

possess more properties than is necessary, they can

also

useful

Add a missing verb

be useful

show examples

in terms of supporting

community

Correct article usage

a community

show examples

that lives in poor conditions.

Submitted by Teo Halimov on Tue May 28 2024

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task achievement

While the essay provides a reasonable discussion on why poor populations exist despite wealth, ensure to offer more elaboration and depth on the reasons for poverty and the complexities of government policies.

coherence cohesion

Incorporate more logical structuring of ideas, e.g., dividing the essays into clear paragraphs covering distinct points for easier reading and understanding.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen the linkages between paragraphs and ideas to offer smoother transitions and a more cohesive overall argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which frame the main discussion well.

task achievement

Supported main points with examples, such as referencing charity work done by celebrities and rich businessmen, which adds some specificity to the argument.

task achievement

Clear ideas that demonstrate an understanding of the topic, providing points about government policies, capitalism, and charity work.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Unequal distribution
Wealth concentration
Economic disparity
Marginalized communities
Social welfare programs
Cycle of poverty
High-paying jobs
Affordable healthcare
Economic growth
Social mobility
Employment opportunities
Discrimination
Quality education
Access to healthcare
Government policies

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There is still a certain section of the society which lives under poverty despite the fact that countries where people belonging to this section live are becoming richer.Why do you think this happens and what can wealthy societies do to help their poorer members?

Include an introduction and conclusion

the exposure of international media such as films tv and magazines has impacts on local culture. what do you think of the impacts have been? Do you agree the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the houses or building they live in. What is the reason for this? How can people research on this?

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In some countries younger people are neglacting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion