Too much emphasis is placed on education. More government money should be spent on providing free-time activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Education
is the key aspect in
Change preposition
of
every one's
life so government funding tends to be bigger in Replace the word
everyone's
this
sector. Even though an argument on providing a lot of money to boost free activities to facilitate citizens
leisure time seems to be a great idea, I disagree that Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
this
is the most effective way to spend the national income of the country.
Having a
quality time with loved ones is one of the most exciting moments Correct article usage
apply
among
people to recharge their energy. It could be inside or outside the house. Change preposition
for
However
, there are not many options to go outside because of the lack of public places and free experiences that are provided by the local and national governments. Undoubtedly, it is such
a good way that the regimes should pay more attention to provide
various fun attractions by spending a high percentage of the national income on Wrong verb form
providing
this
case.
On the other hand
, a country's prosperity is measured by its economic and education
sectors. These two sectors are linked to one another. The higher level of education
the society achieves, the bigger salary
they will get and the excessive welfare level of families in the country will sustain. Correct article usage
the salary
Therefore
, to achieve the
higher quality of Correct article usage
a
education
, the presidential cabinet has to give the biggest percentage of national funding in this
field.
These two schemas are probably a good way to allocate the funding. After emphasis from both sides, I can tell that providing a bigger amount for society attractions is not as urgent and important as giving help to underprivileged children to get a better education
. As
conclusion, the government should prioritize Change preposition
In
education
first.Submitted by nadhyra.haninda on
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Introduction
Maintain the clarity of your introduction by succinctly stating your position on the argument. This will set a strong foundation for your essay.
Sentence Variety
Consider diversifying your sentence structures to further enhance readability and engagement. While your essay already demonstrates good variety, further variation can make your writing even more dynamic.
Conclusion
Enhance your conclusion by summarizing the main points before stating your final stance. This method reinforces your arguments and provides a clear closure to the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presented a well-structured and logical flow of ideas, demonstrating a strong grasp of coherence and cohesion.
Task Response
You effectively responded to the task, providing clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant examples.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively bookending your essay and reinforcing your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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