TOPIC: Nowadays, some people like to give help to the local community or provide people with direct help. Other people prefer to give money to national and international organizations. Discuss both methods and give your own opinion on which is better.
In
this
new generation,maximum
population has the tendency to help Add an article
the maximum
to
others who are needy.
It can be sometimes Change preposition
apply
life saving
help to the Add a hyphen
life-saving
people
who actually receives
it.These all Change the verb form
receive
depends
on how a person provides his help either to the local community or to the one with direct help or to national/international organizations.Let us look into it in the upcoming stances.
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
Initially
, a person intending to help thinks to give food,money or clothes directly to the one whom he knows.We can be very sure that the help has been reached personally without any third person.
Likewise
,persons thinking to give
help to Change preposition
of giving
local
Add an article
the local
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
such
as Moral elderly homes,orphanages and more can donate them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
with
some Change preposition
apply
cashes
for their medical or education purposes.Change the wording
cash
amounts of cash
flows of cash
fistfuls of cash
Furthermore
,some even think to extend
their help to some national/international organizations through some funding groups which could be helpful for the nation in terms of purchasing some emergency relief products and Change preposition
of extending
for
renovating any public buildings etc..
Though we can able to see many advantages with Change preposition
apply
people
sharing with others,there are so many scammers who cheat the
innocent Correct article usage
apply
people
by giving wrong informations
and Change the wording
information
pieces of information
receive
lumpsum Wrong verb form
receiving
amount
.Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
Moreover
it is Add a comma
Moreover,
also
difficult for the police officers to track where all the money goes.
Hence
we have to be more careful on whom we are providing with help.
According to
me,I conclude that providing help to local
community or Add an article
the local
a local
people
with direct help is a better option as it has more visibility for us on whether the original help has been
reached them or not rather than giving it to some unknown organizations through some third party.Unnecessary verb
apply
This
method will also
help us understand them more on their other needs as well.Submitted by nusramkumar on
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coherence cohesion
Introduction should be clearer with a more defined thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization by using clear paragraphing and topic sentences.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support each main point discussed.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both methods of helping others as asked by the prompt.
task achievement
The conclusion clearly states the writer's opinion, which is a positive aspect for task response.
Fully explain your ideas
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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