TOPIC: Nowadays, some people like to give help to the local community or provide people with direct help. Other people prefer to give money to national and international organizations. Discuss both methods and give your own opinion on which is better.

In
this
new generation,
maximum
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the maximum
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population has the tendency to help
to
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apply
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others who are needy. It can be sometimes
life saving
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life-saving
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help to the
people
who actually
receives
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receive
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it.These all
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
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on how a person provides his help either to the local community or to the one with direct help or to national/international organizations.Let us look into it in the upcoming stances.
Initially
, a person intending to help thinks to give food,money or clothes directly to the one whom he knows.We can be very sure that the help has been reached personally without any third person.
Likewise
,persons thinking
to give
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of giving
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help to
local
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the local
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community
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communities
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such
as Moral elderly homes,orphanages and more can donate
them
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apply
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with
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apply
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some
cashes
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cash
amounts of cash
flows of cash
fistfuls of cash
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for their medical or education purposes.
Furthermore
,some even think
to extend
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of extending
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their help to some national/international organizations through some funding groups which could be helpful for the nation in terms of purchasing some emergency relief products and
for
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apply
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renovating any public buildings etc.. Though we can able to see many advantages with
people
sharing with others,there are so many scammers who cheat
the
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apply
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innocent
people
by giving wrong
informations
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information
pieces of information
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and
receive
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receiving
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lumpsum
amount
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amounts
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.
Moreover
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Moreover,
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it is
also
difficult for the police officers to track where all the money goes.
Hence
we have to be more careful on whom we are providing with help.
According to
me,I conclude that providing help to
local
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the local
a local
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community or
people
with direct help is a better option as it has more visibility for us on whether the original help has
been
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apply
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reached them or not rather than giving it to some unknown organizations through some third party.
This
method will
also
help us understand them more on their other needs as well.
Submitted by nusramkumar on

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coherence cohesion
Introduction should be clearer with a more defined thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization by using clear paragraphing and topic sentences.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support each main point discussed.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both methods of helping others as asked by the prompt.
task achievement
The conclusion clearly states the writer's opinion, which is a positive aspect for task response.

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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