An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?
In the present world, In the big cities, many enormous shopping
malls
have been constructed. The rise of those shopping areas like malls
and department stores
means the dying of the smaller local shops
especially in the capital cities. Discussing the positives and negatives of shopping in larger malls
rather than the smaller corner shops
will be described in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, many people
choose to buy certain things like accessories, amenities and electrical gadgets in the shopping center
more than Change the spelling
centre
the
traditional shop because shopping in the plaza brings many advantages Change preposition
in the
such
as buying various goods
in one place and lower prices compared with the local shops
. To illustrate, in the past, people
went shopping the weekly groceries at the street market and if they wanted to get a
lipstick, they needed to go to another local shop. Correct article usage
apply
Whereas
, nowadays people
can buy groceries and and
Remove the redundancy
apply
a
lipstick in the same building which is very convenient for them. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, paying with mobile banking or credit card
is mostly not acceptable for traditional Fix the agreement mistake
cards
shops
because the owner needs to register the payment systems and pay more taxes.
Moving on to the disadvantages, firstly
, shopping in the larger department stores
may lead to wiping out of the corner shops
or the smaller shops
from cutting down the goods
price. Following
this
, the lower price is good for customers,
but harmful to the competitors who will lose their regular customers. Remove the comma
apply
Furthermore
, if people
continue to choose to buy things from the big malls
instead
of traditional stores
, the lack of support for local shops
that sell specific or special goods
will be gone.
In conclusion, the large
department Correct quantifier usage
number of large
stores
and shopping malls'
numbers are on the rise, leading to the decreasing number of Change noun form
malls
the
smaller traditional Correct article usage
apply
stores
in the cities. Even shopping in the larger shopping center
brings convenience to customers, it can cause negative influences on local Change the spelling
centre
shops
and end up losing traditional local goods
.Submitted by pnakasont on
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task achievement
Ensure that your argument remains focused. While your essay has a clear structure, some of your points could be expanded upon with more detail and clarity. For example, provide more specific examples or data to strengthen your points about the convenience and pricing benefits of large shopping centers.
task achievement
Try to avoid repeating the same point using different words. For instance, you mention the convenience and the presence of both groceries and cosmetics in one place twice. Instead, expand on other relevant aspects like variety and quality of products in bigger malls compared to smaller shops.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical transitions between your points. Although your essay is generally well-structured, some of the transitions between the pros and cons could be smoother. Consider using phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Nevertheless' to create a more natural flow between contrasting ideas.
coherence cohesion
Polish the grammar and minor errors such as 'and and a lipstick' should be 'and a lipstick.' Additionally, ensure to maintain formal language throughout the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and sets up the discussion of the advantages and disadvantages effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion successfully summarises the main points and restates your position on the topic, strengthening the overall coherence of the essay.
supported main points
You provide clear examples, such as the convenience of buying groceries and cosmetics in one location, which helps support your main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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