Topic: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environment problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It has always been a controversial issue whether
lack
of special species of Correct article usage
the lack
plant
and animals is the Fix the agreement mistake
plants
most
Correct word choice
biggest
challenges
Fix the agreement mistake
challenge
of
Change preposition
to
environment
or Correct article usage
the environment
we
should concentrate on other Correct word choice
whether we
environment
problems more. In my point of view, Replace the word
environmental
however
some particular of
creatures and Change preposition
apply
plant
are in danger, Fix the agreement mistake
plants
it
is a good idea that individuals focus on tackling other environmental difficulties.
Correct word choice
so it
To embark
Fix the infinitive
Embark
on
, the amount of hunting is enhancing annually so most Change preposition
apply
of
species of animals will Change preposition
apply
exposure
Verb problem
be exposed
of
extinction. After that, Change preposition
to
Correct article usage
the numbers
numbers
of plants will be influenced, and people will not pick out Fix the agreement mistake
number
plethora
of them to eat. Add an article
a plethora
the plethora
For example
, according to
one documentary which has
shown on BBC three months ago, Verb problem
was
special
herb was grown in Africa which Correct article usage
a special
cure
5 miscellaneous ailments but after its extinction, country-dwellers lost their chance.
Wrong verb form
cured
On the other hand
, nowadays environment
is influenced by human judge
. Replace the word
judgment
In other words
, the more trash is produced, the more carbon footprint and ozone depletion will be increased in the near future. This
is the main problem which humans are faced to
Change preposition
with
thus
they have to solve it,
because it will Remove the comma
apply
rise
the rate of sicknesses Correct your spelling
raise
such
as respiratory disease. As a result
, individuals have to prevent to make
various rubbish, and manufacturing new products with the lowest trash should Change the verb form
making
be become
a rule in factories by the governments. Change to the active voice
become
have become
For example
, according to
latest
articles, approximately 90 % of carbon dioxide is created by factories around the world.
Correct article usage
the latest
To conclude
, I personally believe that although
lack
of some animals and plants is one Correct article usage
the lack
the
Change preposition
of the
problem
of Fix the agreement mistake
problems
environment
, other environmental challenges Correct article usage
the environment
such
as emission
Correct article usage
the emission
CO2
Change preposition
of CO2
is
more tangible than it. People can Correct subject-verb agreement
are
outcome
Correct your spelling
overcome
this
difficulty with reduction
of trash.Correct article usage
the reduction
Submitted by abhari1997 on
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task response
Your essay addresses both views on the topic, which is a good start. To enhance the task response, try to elaborate more on each viewpoint and further delve into the implications of each issue. Ensure each paragraph clearly supports one main idea with relevant details and examples.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Aim to improve the flow by using clearer topic sentences and more cohesive devices. For instance, start each paragraph with a sentence that clearly states the main idea of that paragraph.
introduction conclusion present
Good job on presenting a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your essay well.
supported main points
You have provided examples to support your points, such as the BBC documentary and information about carbon dioxide production, which help illustrate your ideas effectively.