IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Topic: Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environment problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It has always been a controversial issue whether
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of special species of
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
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 and animals is the
most
Correct word choice
biggest
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challenges
Fix the agreement mistake
challenge
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of
Change preposition
to
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Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 or
we
Correct word choice
whether we
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 should concentrate on other
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 problems more. In my point of view,
however
Linking Words
 some particular
of
Change preposition
apply
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creatures and
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
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 are in danger,
it
Correct word choice
so it
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 is a good idea that individuals focus on tackling other environmental difficulties.
To embark
Fix the infinitive
Embark
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on
Change preposition
apply
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, the amount of hunting is enhancing annually so most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
species of animals will
exposure
Verb problem
be exposed
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of
Change preposition
to
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 extinction. After that,
Correct article usage
the numbers
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numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of plants will be influenced, and people will not pick out
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
the plethora
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 of them to eat.
For example
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,
according to
Linking Words
 one documentary which
has
Verb problem
was
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 shown on BBC three months ago,
special
Correct article usage
a special
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 herb was grown in Africa which
cure
Wrong verb form
cured
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 5 miscellaneous ailments but after its extinction, country-dwellers lost their chance.
On the other hand
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, nowadays
environment
Use synonyms
 is influenced by human
judge
Replace the word
judgment
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.
In other words
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, the more trash is produced, the more carbon footprint and ozone depletion will be increased in the near future.
This
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 is the main problem which humans are faced
to
Change preposition
with
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thus
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 they have to solve it
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because it will
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
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 the rate of sicknesses
such
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 as respiratory disease.
As a result
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, individuals have to prevent
to make
Change the verb form
making
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 various rubbish, and manufacturing new products with the lowest trash should
be become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
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 a rule in factories by the governments.
For example
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,
according to
Linking Words
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 articles, approximately 90 % of carbon dioxide is created by factories around the world.
To conclude
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, I personally believe that
although
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of some animals and plants is one
the
Change preposition
of the
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 of
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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, other environmental challenges
such
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 as
emission
Correct article usage
the emission
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CO2
Change preposition
of CO2
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more tangible than it. People can
outcome
Correct your spelling
overcome
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this
Linking Words
 difficulty with
reduction
Correct article usage
the reduction
show examples
 of trash.

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task response
Your essay addresses both views on the topic, which is a good start. To enhance the task response, try to elaborate more on each viewpoint and further delve into the implications of each issue. Ensure each paragraph clearly supports one main idea with relevant details and examples.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Aim to improve the flow by using clearer topic sentences and more cohesive devices. For instance, start each paragraph with a sentence that clearly states the main idea of that paragraph.
introduction conclusion present
Good job on presenting a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your essay well.
supported main points
You have provided examples to support your points, such as the BBC documentary and information about carbon dioxide production, which help illustrate your ideas effectively.
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