IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some feel that cities should be designed to be beautiful while others feel thier funtionality is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#feel #cities #thier #funtionality
some people think that
designe
Correct your spelling
design
designed
 to
br brautiful
Correct your spelling
be beautiful
 is important for
cities
 ,
whereas
 others believe that their practicals are more essential.
to begin
 with , all of us know
beauty
 in the
city
 is very effective on our mood.
furthermore
 , every
city
annual
Change the word
annually
show examples
host
Correct subject-verb agreement
hosts
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
millions of tourists coming from different
corner
Fix the agreement mistake
corners
show examples
 of the world.
Hence
 ,
this
 is an important issue for attracting visitors.
moreover
 ,
beauty
 has
direct
Add an article
a direct
show examples
 impact on cleaning and
as well as
 keeping.
for instance
 , if you have a beautiful
city
 , you will keep it clean always and you try to encourage others
also
.
on the other hand
 ,
it is clear that
 , when
town
Correct article usage
the town
show examples
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 beautiful , everything is recognizable. nowadays almost most
cities
 are designed
beautiful
Change the adjective
beautifully
show examples
 for many reasons ,
such
 as competition with each other and
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
winner
Add an article
a winner
the winner
show examples
.
in
Change preposition
On
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
 ,
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 practical is very important. to illustrate , roads should be clean and clear enough.
besides
 , in the
rosd
Correct your spelling
road
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 be several lights for seeing the path.
for example
 , it is
nessesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 that
Correct pronoun usage
there be
show examples
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a lot of boards for
guiding
Replace the word
guidance
show examples
.
Thus
 ,
practical
Replace the word
practicality
show examples
 is an important issue for comfort. in my opinion , both beauties and practicals are important.
therefore
 , responsible
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
sould
Correct your spelling
should
could
 pay attention to both of them at the same time. I for one , am interested in
beauty
 , but
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 practical is very
imporant
Correct your spelling
important
 too.
However
 , humans like to have
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 facilities for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 and it is possible
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
 many objects.
to sum up
 ,
cities
 need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
beauty
 and
funtion
Correct your spelling
function
 and everyone has
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 opinion
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 issue.but
finally
 , all of them need to
both
Add a missing verb
be both
show examples
 of them. since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they want facilities and beauties in their
cities
.
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure to clearly define your main points in the essay. A well-defined thesis statement at the beginning helps in creating a solid structure.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Include more relevant examples and elaborate on your points to make them clearer.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure to enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument, which effectively addresses the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in providing a complete response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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