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Band 5

Some people think it is more important to spead money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as rrailways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #spead #money #roads #motorways #transport #systems #rrailways #trams
There is a belief that the authorities should focus mainly on public
transport
systems
, rather than spend expense on the road infrastructures.
This
 writer believes that means of public
transport
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be promoted more than the other and will demonstrate the reasons below. First of all, it can be acknowledged that using public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 can help
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
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 the amount of fuel used. In recent decades, the predicament of insufficient quantities of energy is becoming more and more dramatic. By using public trams or buses, individuals will consume
lesser
Correct word choice
less
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 fossil fuels since
lesser
Correct word choice
fewer
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 vehicles are needed to travel.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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governments should consider more of improving railways and trams,
although
 expanding roads or motorways can alleviate congestion and road accidents. Another point that deserves to
mention
Wrong verb form
be mentioned
show examples
 is that public
transport
systems
 benefit passengers in various ways. With a majority of people
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 into one vehicle, the prices for travelling will be reasonable, which help them to save their budgets, particularly when travelling
in
Change preposition
apply
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long distances.
Moreover
, since those
systems
 are mainly built underground or not
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the motor routes, inhabitants will not have to suffer from traffic jams and
hence
 move faster to their destination.
That is
 why in developed nations which have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high-quality
transport
systems
such
 as Japan or Korea, citizens would prefer to use trams to move to work or school. In conclusion, public transportations play a pivotal role in terms of saving energy and comforting humans.
As a result
, spending money on developing these amenities is worth
to take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 into account.
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response
Ensure all parts of the question are fully addressed. Be clear whether you are focusing on roads and motorways or public transport.
coherence cohesion
Use clear procedural language to guide the reader through the essay ('Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Furthermore').
supporting ideas
Better clarify reasoning with specific, relevant examples or data to support points made.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a structured approach.
coherence
The essay stays on topic and presents a coherent line of argument, maintaining a clear standpoint.
cohesion
Effective use of transitional phrases to connect ideas between and within paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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