The health benefits of physical exercise are well known. Despite this, many people do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to encourage them to exercise regularly?
Even though the majority of
people
are aware of the positive impact the
physical exercise has, still a lot of Correct article usage
apply
people
choose to be ignorant. This
essay will discuss the potential causes and how the situation can be improved.
First of all, despite people
acknowledging the the
advantages of physical activity, most of them choose to do it regularly Remove the redundancy
apply
due to
different priorities. These days, to earn enough money the person should work
hard for it, therefore
, a successful career is more essential for some people
, than exercising. They put work
in the first place of their priorities, hence
neglecting the one
vital factor that is
responsible for their productivity and efficiency throughout the day - health
. Continuing to prioritise work
before health
leads to serious consequences in the future, where the person's well-being starts to suffer. According to
a
recent research, residents of Japan are considered to be Remove the article
apply
one
of the most hardworking people
around the globe. However
, they also
have one
of the highest percentages in the number of people
who have exhaustion. Which
shows exactly what can the person have if they do not focus on their Correct pronoun usage
This
health
.
Secondly
, some people
have difficulties doing exercises because of their state of health
. Nowadays, some people
already suffer from either chronic illnesses, disabilities, or other conditions that prevent them doing
regular Change preposition
from doing
exercises
. Take Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
for
example, Add the comma(s)
, for
people
with disabilities; they require special equipment to exercise. Furthermore
, unfortunately not every town and physical centre can provide that, thus
it limits the opportunities for people
to work
out.
To improve the situation and encourage people
to start leading a healthier lifestyle place of work
should provide an annual subscription to a sports facility. Companies can make it as
a necessary part of every job. Change preposition
apply
People
are obliged to visit sport
Change the noun form
sports
centers
at least Change the spelling
centres
one
or two times a week. Furthermore
, these sport
facilities have to acquire Fix the agreement mistake
sports
set
of Add an article
a set
equipments
specifically for Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
people
that
have Correct pronoun usage
who
health
restrictions and need modification in their training.
In conclusion, wrong
set of priorities and the lack of tools for Change the article
the wrong
people
with disabilities lowers the number of people
who exercise regularly. To make a
situation better it is good to consider providing subscriptions to Correct article usage
the
Correct article usage
the gym
gym
from the Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
work
of placement, that
is Correct pronoun usage
which
also
is
accessible to Unnecessary verb
apply
people
with different types of health
conditions.Submitted by katenok200312 on
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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt and includes relevant points. However, improving the logical structure and the flow between ideas could enhance overall clarity. Sometimes, the transitions between arguments feel abrupt.
task achievement
Consider using more specific examples or statistics to support the points made. This can make the argument more compelling and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. For instance, instead of general references, use precise data to illustrate the impact of work on health or the lack of facilities for disabled individuals.
coherence
Work on the logical structure and flow. Ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next and that all points are connected in a coherent manner. This can be achieved by using more transitional phrases and ensuring that each paragraph builds on the previous one.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are clear and present a good summary. However, consider refining the conclusion to reinforce the main points more effectively. Restate the significance of encouraging regular exercise and summarise the key solutions more succinctly.
task achievement
The essay covers all parts of the task, addressing both the reasons why people do not exercise regularly and suggesting potential solutions.
coherence
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, ensuring that it is well-rounded and offers a summary of the main points discussed.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples and some supporting details, such as the reference to Japan and the needs of disabled individuals.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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