IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In many cities,planners tend to arrange shops,schools officers and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other.Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

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Introduction
Whether many cities,
planners
Correct word choice
and planners
show examples
 tend to arrange,shops,schools officers and homes in specific areas is a recurring argument.
This
Linking Words
 writer argues that
arrange
Wrong verb form
arranging
show examples
 them in specific areas to easy to find them and
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
 less
time
Use synonyms
 to find them overshadow spend more
time
Use synonyms
 to find each
places
Change to a singular noun
place
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
The most
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 factor of
arrange
Change the verb form
arranging
show examples
 all
Correct article usage
the biulings
show examples
biulings
Correct your spelling
buildings
billings
 in one place
can
Verb problem
is
show examples
 easy to find them.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
tofind
Correct your spelling
find
 them and
also
Linking Words
 can
change
Use synonyms
others
Use synonyms
 building faster.From prior knowledge,
people
Use synonyms
 easily
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
find and
change
Use synonyms
others
Use synonyms
 shop for various
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 get high profits.
Body paragraph 2
Spending less
time
Use synonyms
 to find shops must
alo
Correct your spelling
also
 be considered.It must be recognized that
people
Use synonyms
 can easily
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
find and spend less
time
Use synonyms
 to
change
Use synonyms
 and enhance the trust
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 customers.
As a result
Linking Words
,by
arrange
Change the verb form
arranging
show examples
 all
buildings
Use synonyms
 together can make the most convenient for individuals.
There by
Correct your spelling
Thereby
show examples
,by using
this
Linking Words
 method
people
Use synonyms
 can spend less
time
Use synonyms
to find
Change the verb form
finding
show examples
Use synonyms
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
building
Replace the word
buildings
show examples
.
Body paragraph 3
However
Linking Words
,some
others
Use synonyms
 believe that separate
buildings
Use synonyms
 from each
Use synonyms
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
.They believe that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using
this
Linking Words
 way can increase the profits and income
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their business.
This
Linking Words
 may be true,but it was very inconvenient for customers,there
no
Add a missing verb
was no
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
Add an article
the businessman
a businessman
show examples
businessman
Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
show examples
 will think
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
 for
customer’s
Change noun form
customers
show examples
 first.
Conclusion
Taking all
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 into account,
arrange
Wrong verb form
arranging
show examples
 all
buildings
Use synonyms
 in specific areas is overshadowed by
separate
Wrong verb form
separating
show examples
 them for each
places
Change to a singular noun
place
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
,easy to find and spend less
time
Use synonyms
 to
change
Use synonyms
buildings
Use synonyms
 are play a crucial role in
people
Use synonyms
’s lives especially nowadays.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks clarity and coherence in its structure. Try to organize your thoughts better by dividing the essay into well-defined paragraphs, each one addressing a single point. Use transition words like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'Finally,' to guide the reader logically through your arguments.
task achievement
You need to improve your overall task achievement by ensuring that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Make sure you discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of the policy, providing specific examples for each point.
task achievement
Your essay contains a number of grammar and spelling mistakes. It's essential to proofread your work carefully. Consider using tools like spell checkers and grammar checkers to minimize errors.
task achievement
You have made an attempt to address the topic by discussing both advantages and disadvantages. This is a good starting point.
coherence cohesion
You have a basic idea of structuring your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing different points, and a conclusion. This is essential for coherence.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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