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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The featured pie graphs compare the changes
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 schools'
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 from 1981 to 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, the consumption
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 other workers' salaries saw a downward over the 30 years,
while
Linking Words
 insurance experienced
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
differenet
Correct your spelling
different
 tendency.
However
Linking Words
,
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on other aspects fluctuated during that period of time. It is clear from the chart that teacher's salaries took up the
heighest
Correct your spelling
highest
 proportion with 40% in 1981, increased to 50% in 1991, but
finally
Linking Words
 fell to 45% in 2001.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the percentage of consumption in
resources
Fix the agreement mistake
resource
show examples
 books had the same change, with 15%, 20% and 9% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to the
expenditure
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 furniture and equipment, that figure started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 15%, dropped to only 5% and climbed
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 23% in 2001.
Additionally
Linking Words
, schools paid
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
 money to workers expect teachers over the
20
Correct word choice
last 20
show examples
 years. The proportion of those workers payment was 28% in 1981, but that figure for 2001 became 15%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on insurance increased steadily from 2% in 1981 to 8% in 2001.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Annual spending
  • Expenditure categories
  • Allocation
  • Trend analysis
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Budget allocation strategy
  • Inflation-adjusted
  • Future implications
  • Educational institutions
  • Technological resources
  • Maintenance and operations
  • Comparative analysis
  • Fiscal management
  • Resource allocation
  • Strategic planning
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